Farang

Kaiseki

2009-05-11T08:31:00.000-07:00

ALERT: unseemly amounts of photos of strange food ahead. If you're not excited about baby raw squid served in their own ink, you might want to skip this one.

Do you recognize these people?

Ian and Tiara, founders of Farang Industries, and their honored guests, Steve and Barbara.

Committed to bringing you the best reporting possible, these brave gourmands traveled into the heart of Ohara, Japan, and donned robes to endure two days of soaking in hot springs, reading quietly by the garden, and partaking in never-ending kaiseki meals. We had two dinners and two breakfasts during our stay. The breakfasts generally involved salmon, rice, pickles, miso soup, and several forms of bean curds. They were delicious, and though I said at the time that I prefer my Western breakfasts, I have been craving miso, rice, and pickles like a madwoman for the past few weeks. Japan, we miss you....

Dinner is a real event, served in your room (or in our case, in mom and dad's room) by your own personal attendants. The entire meal is designed to reflect the season, and each course is exquisitely presented on flatware specifically chosen for that dish. It's like eating art, though generally it tastes better. Most of the courses were winners, and all of them were interesting. The following photos are of our dinner the first night of our stay. Our menu was in Japanese so we really don't know everything we ate, but here is my attempt to recreate the meal in roughly the order it was served.

An appropriately strange and colorful start. Soft pink tofu with broccoli, a green veggie and wasabi sauce, and raw little fishies. Not bad flavor-wise, and pretty cool texturally.

From left to right: raw octopus tentacles, radishes, bamboo shoots, butterfly-shaped radish, mochi, shrimp head, and broccoli.

Yuba. This stuff is weird but delicious. Soy milk is boiled and forms a skin, which is removed and eaten. Boiling and skin eating continues until all the milk is gone. We got a nice ponzo-esque dipping sauce for the skin.

Vegetable stock with some green veggies and this pretty package containing various forms of bean curd, including a red one that mom won't be wanting again, thank you very much.

Mmmm....sashimi. Mmmm some more.

Fried little fishies, lotus root, and some bean curds and sauces that I really don't remember. These fish were better than the ones that I got by surprise at a bar when I thought I had ordered salmon.

A sweet, eggy, creamy soup with some leafy greens. Also, adorable heart-shaped radishes.

Whole, raw baby squid served in their own ink. See below.

I feel really bad about this one. I was the first among the four of us to pop one of these little guys in my mouth, and I just could not hide the look that came over my face when I tried to swallow it. I managed to get it and another one down, but this was the one plate I didn't finish. I'm not much for squid sushi anyway, and the guts and ink just didn't improve the experience for me. Ian was a star and ate them all. Now that he's had rat soup in Laos, he's reaching Anthony Bourdain levels of food tolerance.

Various bean curds and root vegetables. Not bad. Not great.

Pickles! These were served with steamed rice, which didn't really merit a picture. I don't think either of these pickles are the kind offered to me by a man in Ohara, who opened with the line: "Are you famous?" Tiara: "Umm, no." Pickle man: "These pickles are famous!"

Miso soup. I wish every meal began and/or ended with miso.

Yummy black sesame pudding with kiwi and STRAWBERRIES! Given the cost of fruit in Japan, I see now why our stay at the ryokan was so expensive. Seriously, it's wild. Someday I'll show you a picture of a $100 cantaloupe.

This meal was truly special and I feel so fortunate that we were able to partake in the kaiseki tradition. Our dinner the second night was equally, if not more, delicious, but actually featured a number of more familiar foods. Thanks, mom and dad, for treating us so well!

Our first forray into scatological humor

2009-05-07T13:48:00.000-07:00

We here at Farang Industries think of ourselves as "high society" people, exemplars of taste and discernment. Tiara quaffs only Hennessy Beauté du Siècle, Ian won't turn the ignition of any lesser vehicle than his Rolls Phantom Silver, and Charlie... well, Charlie's learning.

(On the subject of learning, a quick aside to Farang's new Chief of Staff Preston Vanderbilt Esquire: The Remy XO is only to be served to the canines of visiting guests; the Jaguar is only to be used for picking up dogfood like Remy XO. One more mistake and you're out on the street like Dillinger Carnegie.)

You are probably wondering why I bring all this up; surely our credentials are unimpeachable, and the 'Farang' name is synonymous with refinement and class. Well, dear reader, it is with heavy heart that I confide that the roar from the financial meltdown has sent echoes even into the upper echelons of society. Ad contracts are expiring, sponsorship is down, and readership is dropping off as more of our loyal devotees turn their attention to finding new employment instead of reading our blog at their (now empty) mahogany desks. In these troubled times we at Farang are trying to grow our readership by courting the... how to say? peasantry. So here now, we extend a foul smelling olive branch, a small gastrointestinal gesture of good will: a "poop" joke, which our consultants have assured us is something that you people enjoy.

Editors advice: Skip the fudge

9 Pictures of Kyoto

2009-05-05T23:29:00.001-07:00

Kyoto has an unimaginable wealth of stunning gardens and temples. We spent four days there and probably saw less than a third of the recommended attractions. What we did see, though, was absolutely beautiful. Most Japanese gardens don't photograph well, because they're meant to be an immersive experience where every corner you turn opens up a whole new view. I actually found that our photos were really not a good representation of what it felt like to be in these places. We tried, though, so here are some images of a few of my Kyoto highlights. For a while I was doing really well remembering the names of all the gardens, but then I entered my Italy-induced gelato coma and now all I can remember is that my favorite Grom flavor is Cassata Siciliana. I'll be counting on mom to fill in the gaps for me.

I think Fushimi Inari was my favorite place in Kyoto. Tens of thousands of red torii gates wind their way through forested mountain paths. The temple is dedicated to Inari, the god of rice and sake. Each gate is donated by a Japanese business, wishing for prosperity in the coming year.

Prayers, wishes, and cranes at Fushimi Inari.

Ian on the Philosopher's Path during full cherry-blossom bloom. His mom took a similar picture when they were there almost ten years ago. What do you think, Debbie? Will this one go on the fridge too?

By the end of our time in Kyoto, the blossoms were just starting to fall, creating a light, fluttery pink snow. So surreal.

Golden Pavillion. We beat the tour buses here by about 45 seconds.

Temple, garden, and crane.

Garden view from a teahouse.

Pretty fountain.

The Way Back Machine Goes to Nao-shima

2009-04-30T20:00:00.000-07:00

A long, long time ago, we visited the island of Nao-shima in Japan's inland sea. The island has become a community for artists, and dozens of sculptures are scattered around the island. There are also a couple of world-class museums and some great pieces by James Turrell, but, sadly, we were unable to take photographs inside.

We spent two days visiting the island, riding bikes to visit the various sculptures and museums. There was a surreal air to the place - an island of full of obscure artworks that's completely off the international tourist trail. It has definitely become one of our favorite places we visited on this trip. The locals think that the island would be the perfect setting for an upcoming James Bond movie, and we have to agree. Join the movement to bring James Bond to Nao-shima!

I love this pumpkin.

Ian's the king of the world!

An installation called "Cultural Melting Bath," with a jacuzzi you can actually use.

Nao-shima is where we first had okonomiyaki, a savory pancake with cabbage, eggs, bacon, pickled ginger, and some other odds and ends, topped with a sweet sauce, mayonnaise, and some seaweed. This stuff is goooood.

Ian and Charlie wait for the ferry.

Killer Rabbits!

2009-04-29T18:00:00.000-07:00

Run away!

Tokyo and the Tsukiji Fish Market

2009-04-28T20:00:00.000-07:00

We were fortunate to visit Tokyo on three separate occasions during our five weeks in Japan. We loved the bright lights, people-watching, great architecture, cheap food, and strange happenings.

A tiny bit of the massive Tokyo skyline, as seen from the top of the Metropolitan Government Building.

Shinjuku

Sure, why not?

Insane scramble crossing in Shibuya.

When my parents came to visit us, we all decided to wake up at 4am one morning to check out the tuna auction and the Tsukiji fish market. The auction was recently reopened after being closed to tourists for a long time. We can see way - this is a serious place of business, with trucks driving up narrow aisles and people carting fish worth $50,000 to restaurant owners. We were probably in the way, but we were really excited that we got to catch a glimpse of the action. Of course, we followed our fish market visit with a wonderfully fresh sushi breakfast.

Rows of really expensive tuna.

Tuna in transit.

Looking for fresh tako at the Tsukiji market.

Happy Birthday, Ian!

2009-04-27T09:00:00.001-07:00

Today is Ian's birthday. He is officially in his late-twenties. We will be spending the day in Venice, saying goodbye to our youth, but since our blog is living in the past, I'll commemorate this occasion by showing you two pictures from Kyoto. Here is Ian walking on his favorite stone steps while heeding the advice of this wonderful sign at the Heian Shrine:

Happy Birthday from the Farang Team! Charlie told me he hopes you get lots of chocolate and that you share it with him because he looooooooves it.

Hiroshima and Miyajima

2009-04-26T08:33:00.000-07:00

Pardon our tardiness. We have been in a pasta-induced coma in Italy for the last two weeks and have been very bad about blogging. As we are now setting a record for being behind in our blog, I'm going to spend the next few posts dumping lots of pictures from Japan. For today, I'll show you a few from Hiroshima and Miyajima.

Visiting Hiroshima was powerful in a way that reading about it in a history text never could be. I read the story Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes with my 4th grade students, so visiting the children's memorial to Sadako was particularly moving for me. We were both surprised by the tone of Peace Park, casting no blame toward the United States and instead representing itself as a world city committed to peace and the abolishment of nuclear weapons. It was remarkable to see photos comparing Hiroshima the day after the bombing to the city today. I find it amazing to think about how the city was one of four possible targets, and was ultimately chosen for the bombing because there was good weather overhead that morning.

The A-Bomb Dome, restored to look exactly as it did immediately after the bombing, serves as a reminder of the catastrophic effects of nuclear weapons.

The memorial to the children who died in the bombing and in the following decade as a result of radiation.

Cranes for Sadako.

The beautiful and iconic island of Miyajima, which we visited on a day trip from Hiroshima.

ANTLERS!!!

2009-04-11T16:07:00.000-07:00

We went to Miyajima several weeks ago, a fact you would never know from our once again woefully out of date blog. In addition to having its very famous orange tori gate in the water, it also has tame-ish deer.

Japan refuses to let natural selection run its course and has smattered the island with the following, very, very obvious warning sign:

The Kanji reads: "Especially be pleased to not forcefully examine the prostate of horned deers and so on"

Take Me Out to the Baru Game

2009-04-07T06:54:00.001-07:00

We had the good fortune of being in Osaka while the Hanshin Tigers (the local baseball team) were in season and at home. We also lucked out by couch-surfing into the home of Paul, who helped us buy tickets through an otherwise indecipherable vending machine. The results were fantastic.

Yes, the balloons are a little phallic

As far as I know (and I'm no expert on baseball), the game is played exactly the same as in the US. The fans, however, are much more animated. Every player has a theme song that plays when they come up to bet. For example, one of the few American players, 'Mench' (pronounced 'Menchi' by the locals) enters to a Metallica song. Japanese players tend to opt for either electronic music or more interactive intros. Star player Kanemoto features the '99/2000 Darude dance hit 'Sandstorm', while less famous Sekimoto features an American vocalist crooning "Everybody Saaaaay...." prompting the crowd to respond with an enthusiastic "SEKIMOTO!"

In addition to the theme songs, there are also general chants for all players, plus each player has an individual chant specific to them. These chants are only employed when the relevant player is at bat. Here's a clip:

Finally, and this is the clencher, the game we went to featured a massive whistling balloon launch. See those balloons in the still above? Everyone blew them up partway through the seventh inning, then released them when the Tigers finally got up to bat. Some cool Osaka fans even hooked Tiara and me up with balloons so we could participate. I shot a video without looking, so it's a tiny bit cruddy. I was having too much fun to be a cameraman.

Grand Caption Tournament Winner!

2009-04-07T06:21:00.000-07:00

The results are in, we've tallied our votes, and the Farang Team is finally ready to announce the results of the Grand Caption Tournament, albeit a little late. We are pleased to present the Grand Prize to two(!) winners. Drum roll, please....

Winner #1 is Rick for his caption, "You dropped something from the kaiten-zushi place." Rick played by all the official rules and submitted the very best caption within the contest's three-day time limit. Congratulations, Rick!

Winner #2 is Cindy for her caption, "Ok, NO MORE BEETS for you!" This caption made us laugh the hardest but was unfortunately not submitted within the time limit. We couldn't overlook it, though, so please give Cindy a huge round of applause!

Honorable mention to Lynne for her captions, "I told you, I don't want any more beets!" and, "I swear I didn't see Cindy's comment!" We like the beet-oriented train of thought and the credit given to Cindy for getting there first.

Both Rick and Cindy will be receiving the Grand Prize: a personal visit from the Farang Team! Rick and Cindy will have the opportunity to host Ian, Tiara, and Charlie in their own homes this summer!! It will be the event of a lifetime.

For her contributions, Lynne will be receiving the Honorable Mention prize which, coincidentally, is the same as the Grand Prize. The Farang Team truly understands the spirit of generosity.

Thank you all for your participation. We hope to hear from you again in the next Grand Caption Tournament.

Tokyo Street Performer

2009-03-29T19:00:00.000-07:00

A few notes about this video:
1) We have no idea what he's saying.
2) The little green thing on the ground at camera left is a Godzilla figurine. We watched him attempt this stunt and fail, after which he knelt next to the toy and either pleaded to it for help or blamed it for his failure.
3) It was really, really cold to be wearing skimpy spandex. ~50 F at the hottest.
4) As far as I can tell he did not attempt to collect any money for his performance. Presumably this is just how he likes to spend his Saturdays.

Who's the Boss?

2009-03-28T09:00:00.000-07:00

US celebrities are often lured to Japan for product endorsements by lucrative contracts and the promise that their ads will never make it back to the US. My own governor has been involved in such affairs. We've been keeping our eyes out for more fun cameos, and though we don't have any Arnie sightings (so far), there is a cool canned-coffee ad campaign that has Tommy Lee Jones looking really tired.

More Intensity!

In case you're curious, hot coffee from a vending machine tastes just as bad as it sounds. Maybe that's why Tommy looks so sleepy. Anyhow, with the above ad campaign in mind, there was a certain bathing product we spotted in Vietnam that takes on a bit more meaning:

"Nothing cures my freaky mutant stench like X-Men"

Are the Vietnamese campaigning for a Tommy Lee Jones role in a superhero movie? Or maybe they just know something we don't.

Leaked movie still or bootleg fan mash-up? Only time will tell.

Kawaii Means Cute

2009-03-27T19:00:00.000-07:00

We all know that Japan has adorable signage. Case in point:

However, Ian and I were surprised and delighted to discover that this attention cuteness extends to manholes as well:

Only in Japan!

More Dog Poop, and Farang's First "Grand Caption Tournament"

2009-03-27T01:37:00.000-07:00

At Farang HQ we employ sophisticated polling and tracking to find out what plays well with our many dedicated readers. There's been a steadily growing clamor for more coverage of canine feces, and you can bet we've heard it. Also, please stop sending pictures.

Without further ado, here's a fun dog poop sign from Okayama, Japan. Scatophiles eat your heart out.

You may have noticed this picture is missing the usual snarky caption. In the first ever Farang sponsored "Grand Caption Tournament," we're inviting our readers to submit their own captions via the comments field. At the end of three days time we'll vote on our favorite caption, and the winner will get a special prize.

Nagoya

2009-03-26T05:43:00.000-07:00

After our first night's stay in Tokyo, we began our journey southward toward Matsue. On the way, we stopped in Nagoya for a couple of days to break up the long trek. We were fortunate to find a place to stay through Couchsurfing, and our host, Paul, was fantastic. He had a really comfortable apartment and he went out of his way to make sure we were comfortable. He made us fruit shakes, lent us bicycles, and helped us navigate the Japanese baseball ticket vending machines. He also took us to a great kaiten-zushi (conveyor belt sushi) restaurant and introduced us to his friends. Basically, Paul is the man and he is always welcome to stay with us.

Our guidebook described Nagoya as "industrial" and it was, but in the way that a really well-manicured corporate park is industrial. There was a lot of sculpture in public spaces, and some of the city's architecture was really visionary. We especially enjoyed our visit to the Aichi Prefectural Museum of Art, where we explored the permanent collection as well as a gallery that displayed the works of students from the local university. Some of the students produced really far-out stuff. The future of contemporary art is looking bright in Japan! (Question: is "the future of contemporary art" an oxymoron? Wikipedia claims contemporary art can be defined as art produced since WWII, which future art would qualify as....thoughts?)

Mmmm...tuna rolls. This photo actually makes the sushi restaurant look a lot sadder than it was. The place was huge and there was a tremendous selection. New sushi plates disappeared from the belt almost instantly.

Very cool architecture at the Oasis 21 shopping center.

Driftwood wizard at the Aichi Museum.

Giant inflatable bird designed for outdoor installation.

Wrapping up Vietnam

2009-03-23T01:32:00.000-07:00

We probably have enough Vietnam material to keep posting for the next two months, but we've already been in Japan for almost two weeks. It's time to wrap up Vietnam and move on to more up-to-date posts. Here's a photographic overview of our last couple of weeks in Vietnam.

Hue offered beautiful countryside and lots of historic buildings and temples. In one day of sightseeing we took a taxi, cyclo, moto, and boat. Many tourists skip Hue in their Vietnam tour, but we'd highly recommend a stop. Here's a building from an Emperor's estate:

You've already heard Charlie talk a little about Hanoi. There was a lot of traffic and noise, but we did take a scenic day trip outside the city with Richard and Debbie. Also, we found one thing that made Hanoi tolerable:

Fanny's ice cream was hands-down the best ice cream we've had since we left our dear Bi-Rite in San Francisco. We were here every day.

The parts of Vietnam that aren't overrun with motos are really pretty.

Beautiful people in a beautiful place :)

Of course, we also took a trip to Halong Bay. Halong Bay has a lot in common with Phang Nga in Thailand, but has many more karsts and is widely considered to be more magnificent. Unfortunately, we had terrible weather during our visit and didn't get to experience the scenery quite like we wanted to. Still, the mists and grey skies provided a quiet, eerie atmosphere that was quite spectacular in its own way.

Our trip to Halong Bay included an overnight stay on this private island. After spending several hours on the boat deck in the wind and rain, we were thrilled to discover that our room was equipped with an electric blanket. This island was beautiful and we would have loved to spend more time here had it been sunny.

We left Vietnam a bit disappointed with Hanoi and some of our experiences in the north. However, we loved everything we saw in southern Vietnam and in the highlands. It's definitely a place that will see a lot of change in the next ten years, so get there before everyone else does. I miss pho already.

Thank you for the new hat!

2009-03-19T21:01:00.000-07:00

Hello it is me charlie, i have missed you very much. I know i have taken lots of time to write this, i hope you are not angry with me. I am doing the best that i can and i try to type really hard and loudly and also i can jump eight inches off the ground even when i am standing still!

I have been in vietnam, home of the vietnamese. Tiara and ian went to see uncle ho here but told me that i could not come see him because he is dead. Where i come from we are taught not to call our uncles things like 'ho' and also not to visit them when they are dead but it is a different country and we have different traditions. I did see some dead people in a cave at marble mountain. They might have been fake though because i rode a lizard that was eating a dead body but the lizard hardly moved at all. Oh no, what if the the lizard was dead too?! It was all really scary and i was so afraid and i could not stop smiling (it is a nervous scared thing that i do!)!

Wheeeeeee!!!

After the cave we went outside and it was sunnier and less full of scary things. There was a lot of wind and i almost fell out of the stone tree twice. Ian said that i could have been hurt and i was lucky to have "dodged the draft," so i told him that this is not a funny joke because vietnam had a war and it was very serious. People died in vietnam, ian. People died.

Charlie's in the trees

I also almost died a lot of times because there are speedy, speedy motorcycles all around. They are different from normal motorcycles because they are noisier and everywhere. I will pretend to be a motorcycle to help you understand:
*Vrooooom*, *vroom*
*Beep*, *beep*
*Drive on sidewalk*, *drive on sidewalk*
Okay i think you get it. Also i have a picture:

The cars are not usually this blurry unless you are very sleepy because you stayed up all night counting M&Ms

Sometimes when it gets too busy i like to lie down and listen to my monk friends and they chant and help me fall asleep. Before you get excited i should let you know that the monks are actually people and not monkeys and they don't even have tails even though i think i did see one eat a banana once.

If you look close you can see that he does not have big ears or toes that can grab on to branches or peanuts

Okay bye!

The Burgeoning White Supremacy Anime Industry

2009-03-15T07:47:00.000-07:00

Japanese Animation ("Anime") is one of Japan's most famous exports. For every award-winning family-friendly movie like Studio Ghibli's "Spirited Away," there are a number of less savory titles that the Japanese animation houses wisely choose not to dub into English. For example, both "My Wife is a High School Girl" and "My Balls" show up on a Google search for "offensive anime title."

As Tiara and I discovered, in Japan both the nice anime and screwed up morally hazardous anime generate product spinoffs. Offerings range from children's sneakers to action figures to the ubiquitous cell-phone strap charms. It is the last two categories that has spawned some really inappropriate products. We were first unsettled by little plastic school girls garbed in skin-tight cat-suits and mini-skirts, but these proved comparatively mild once we found a store selling luridly posed stark naked and anatomically impossible figurines. Yet none of these items seemed quite so oblivious and/or downright offensive as a charm we found in the children's section. Behold:

Umm, Trick or Treat?

Super Robo Crab

2009-03-14T09:00:00.000-07:00

Spotted in Nagoya:

I, for one, welcome our new mecha-crustacean overlords.

Shit Pipe

2009-03-13T09:00:00.000-07:00

Nah Trang is a town with a big beach and a lot of tourists. There's some speculation about where exactly the waste from all the high-rise hotels ends up. After all, it's not like Vietnam really has much in the way of infrastructure. Tiara and I did a little investigative research, and think we found the answer. Be thankful that Smell-O-Vision never made its way to the internet.

Don't drink the water.

In case there is any confusion, this goes straight to the ocean, via a short offal stream. There is a local seafood restaurant about 20 feet to the right of this shot. We did not eat there.

Vietnamiese Silk Weaving Machine

2009-03-13T03:06:00.000-07:00

We saw this in a factory outside Dalat. It is "oldskool."

Pigcycle

2009-03-12T09:00:00.000-07:00

I took this from our shuttle on the way from the Hanoi airport. The driver went for extra style points by seating two people and the pig on the bike.

Q: What's white and red and goes 50 miles an hour?

Special behind the scenes bonus feature - rejected alternate captions:
1) I haven't seen this fat a pig on a motorcycle since the last time I was pulled by the CHP.
2) The Vietnamese take the idea of "fast food" very literally.
3) A traditional Vietnamese CO2 BBQ

Wastebaskets of Vietnam: Penguin

2009-03-11T21:00:00.000-07:00

Hoi An

2009-03-10T19:00:00.000-07:00

Before arriving, we'd heard numerous comparisons between Hoi An and Luang Prabang, which was our favorite place in Laos and, after Hong Kong, the best town we've stayed in on this whole trip. Needless to say, a comparison to Luang Prabang gets us excited. Hoi An was certainly charming, but it was not the quiet and mellow Vietnamese equivalent of our favorite Lao spot. Hoi An is buzzing with tourists and is crammed with tailor shops. After two nights staying in the main tourist center of town, we moved across the river to enjoy a more peaceful atmosphere and nice views. From our new location, we were able to go to our favorite restaurant, the Cargo Club, without being harassed by moto drivers.

One of the main reasons people come to Hoi An is to get tailor-made clothes. We tried to get a few pieces made, but aside from a fabulous coat which I will be wearing daily this winter, most of our pieces came out a little ill-fitting. It took one tailor five fittings to make me a pair of pants that were anywhere close to my size. She took out her frustration by blaming my "big thighs," which led me to three concurrent thoughts:

1) Not true. At 5'0" and 103 lbs, I'm pretty much the tiniest an American adult can be without qualifying for a handicap parking sticker.
2) This is not a good way to make friends.
3) Aren't you supposed to be a tailor...making clothes that fit people's bodies?

Ian's experience wasn't any better (apparently his shoulders are "uneven," making it absolutely impossible to make his sleeves fit correctly), so we were left a little disenchanted.

We did take a nice day trip to the beach, and our Cargo Club croissants and desserts were always on hand to make us happy to be in Hoi An.

Charming riverfront restaurants.

The Japanese Covered Bridge, as seen in some movie with Michael Caine (yay!) and Brendan Fraser (nooo!).

Very pretty little beach near Hoi An.

Sunset on the river.

One of the river's many floating lanterns.

The Vietnamese will carry just about anything on the back of a motorbike.

Around Dalat

2009-03-09T18:00:00.000-07:00

One day during our stay in Dalat we rented a van with Richard and Debbie and another couple they had met. We spent the day visiting nearby waterfalls and other countryside attractions, such as a greenhouse and a silk factory. We really loved the scenery around Dalat and found this attractions to be surprisingly not touristy. Like the sand dunes and fairy spring in Mui Ne, the Dalat waterfalls showed us that Vietnam scenery is a lot more varied than we realized. We knew the coast and Ha Long Bay would be beautiful, but there's a lot more to see in Vietnam than that!

Loom in the silk factory. These things made great clanking noises and had a sort of steam punk aesthetic going on.

Awesome waterfall #1 (Ian and I stopped reading our travel guide once Richard and Debbie came along and did all the reading for us, so we don't know the names of any attractions anymore).

Very, VERY happy Buddha at awesome waterfall #1.

Awesome waterfall #2, also known as awesomest waterfall, as it was the best of the three we saw this day.

Looks like someone got a $3 haircut!

More of the awesomest waterfall.

No visit to the Dalat countryside is complete without a trip to the Chicken Village, famous for this statue and nothing else.

Bangkok Layover

2009-03-09T04:55:00.000-07:00

We are currently in Bangkok for a 16 hour layover between Hanoi and Tokyo. Returning to Bangkok today felt like coming home. After traveling in Cambodia and Vietnam we realize how easy everything is in Thailand, and we have a much greater appreciation for everything from the street food and cheap prices to the ubiquitous 7-11s and pharmacies. We have a hotel room for the night and we were able to stock up on shampoo, contact solution, ibuprofen, etc. at the pharmacy nearby. We also visited one of the four 7-11s within 10-minute walking distance from our hotel and got some of our favorite Thai snacks.

The next few days will be crazy for us as we will be flying to Japan, sleeping on various nice people's couches, and booking it from Tokyo to Nagoya to Matsue. Once in Matsue, our pace will settle down and we'll spend about two and a half weeks in Western Honshu and Shikoku before meeting up with my parents for two weeks in the Kansai region. Because the Japan blogs will be slow in coming, I'm scheduling some posts to cover the rest of our Vietnam trip. Charlie is working hard to get us back up to date!

Crazy House

2009-03-08T19:00:00.000-07:00

Sarah Hluchan, this post is for you. We could definitely see you doing this sort of thing with your houseboat.

The crazy house is one of Dalat's main attractions - the home of a Vietnamese artist with a taste for plaster and Alice in Wonderland-inspired architecture. You can actually stay overnight at the Crazy House, but I guess you'd have to deal with tourists outside your room all day. This place is hard to describe...let's just say it was incredibly kooky and far from understated. Narrow bridges connect plaster-enclosed buildings with fake trees and stalactites built into the structures. Each room has a theme, and there is a central "garden" of overgrown trees and winding pathways. Pictures are better than words here:

Main entrance.

The garden.

A man who didn't seem to work here offered to take our picture in the kangaroo room for free. The kangaroo's eyes are actually red light bulbs...creepy. The photographer gave Ian this red mesh vest to wear for the photo. Why? We have no idea.

Ian, taking his place at the head of the dining room table.

We Liked Dalat a Lot

2009-03-07T05:44:00.001-08:00

Now that Ian and I have reached the end of our six weeks in Vietnam we are thinking back to where we wish we had spent more time. One of those places is Dalat, a smallish town located in the central highlands. Dalat's cooler climate, kitschy attractions, and proximity to the country's primary produce and wine-producing region makes it a prime location for honeymooning Vietnamese. It definitely holds a special charm - sort of like a European mountain town with charming architecture, cobblestone streets, sidewalk cafes, and open-air markets selling really weird Southeast Asian ingredients.

Anyone care for a chicken head?

Two things made our stay in Dalat special:

1) We stayed at the best hotel we've been to on this whole Southeast Asia trip: Dreams Hotel. Our room at Dreams had hardwood floors, a super comfy bed, fresh flowers, no moldy smell, and a shower with eight different nozzles. Additionally, there was a jacuzzi and a sauna on the top floor free for our use. The room included breakfast, which consisted of a huge spread of fruit (I love mangos!), baguettes, meats, yogurt, eggs, passionfruit juice, tea, and all sorts of condiments. One morning some Australians showed us the correct way to use Vegemite so it doesn't taste so terrible (the secret: use very litttle!). We loved our breakfast, our room, and the lovely family who ran the hotel. This was by far the best value hotel we've seen for $20.

2) Produce. Dalat is known for having good produce generally, but is especially recognized for its wine and strawberries. Now, strawberries and I have a special history, and like a moth to a flame, I beelined to the first strawberry stand I saw and purchased a half kilo. Sadly, I had only washed and eaten a handful of them before experiencing the ill effects of consuming fresh Vietnamese produce, but I definitely don't regret eating the few that I had. I miss clean, organic California fruit....

Dalat's central market.

Dalat is also where we spent Valentines Day and where Ian found out he was accepted to Berkeley for grad school. All in all, it's a pretty great place!

Some photos from our day swanboating on the lake with Richard and Debbie:

So peaceful compared to Ho Chi Minh City and Hanoi.

Richard strangling his swan. Not sure what it did to piss him off.

With swan boats, nice trees, and horse-drawn carriages, Dalat is all set up for honeymooners.

Wastebaskets of Vietnam: Glorious Feats

2009-03-04T18:58:00.000-08:00

Wastebaskets of Vietnam: Challenge

2009-03-02T18:57:00.000-08:00

Phu Quoc

2009-02-27T21:00:00.000-08:00

After a few days of trying to avoid being killed by motorbikes in Ho Chi Minh City, we were ready for a week on the beach. We were able to catch a cheap flight to Phu Quoc, thereby avoiding many hours on a bus and a boat (you know how we love Southeast Asian boats...). Phu Quoc is about five years away from becoming as developed and touristy as Phuket. We felt really fortunate to catch it before it explodes. Although the snorkeling isn't up to Thailand standards, the beaches are beautiful and the night market cooks up some cheap, delicious treats. Oooh, grilled pork and vermicelli noodles, how we miss thee.

Ian and I were fortunate to be able to snag an affordable room at the Beach Club for three nights. Just like the Bad Evil "Culb," it's very exclusive - usually booked months in advance. Someone must have cancelled at the last minute. Lucky us!

We took a snorkeling trip with Richard and Debbie, and stopped at the stunning Bai Sao beach. This place is a honeymoon destination for sure!

Phu Quoc fishing boat.

Enormous rice cracker.

Posts From the Way Back Machine #7: A Love Letter to Hong Kong

2009-02-27T19:03:00.000-08:00

Editors Note: In his last post looking back at months-old events, Ian sums up some of his favorite experiences from Hong Kong, or "China-lite."

Well folks, the Way Back Machine is just about out of gas (or plutonium, or chili-cheese fries, or whatever it is these crazy things run on), and I'd like to end on a high note. We loved our time in Hong Kong, and today I'd like to share with you some of our favorite things that made it so very special to us.

Dumplings:
The first time we walked down the street at dinner-time we passed a restaurant doing so much business the crowd formed a line out the door that blocked the sidewalk. This not only made the place hard to miss, but also quite literally arrested my attention. We tried it out the next day, and it was love at first bite - we ate dumplings four times in the next 24 hours. Despite dozens of return visits, we never got a good picture. As soon as the delicate morsels appeared in front of us our frontal-lobes shut down and all non-dumpling-related thoughts ceased.

An OK shot of take-home dumplings. I think they were infused with opium.

Signs:

There were a lot of funny English and demonstrative graphics on signs in Hong Kong. It's usually hard to pick one favorite, but not when you've got this one:

The graphic hints at marvelous things, though we never saw people doing this

Ocean Park:
Hong Kong has its own home-grown amusement complex, "Ocean Park." It's old Sea World meets new Sea World - dolphin shows and parrots and pandas and roller coasters. As if that weren't enough, the whole thing is set on a hill overlooking the coast, and several of the rides (plus the cable car) practically go out over the water. And did I mention the pandas? Coolest theme park ever.

We've got enough pictures to do a whole Ocean Park blog (it was our first day with a new camera), but for now you'll have to be satisfied with a shot of "The Dragon":

Breathtaking view, heart-stopping drops, and neck-breaking jolts make the dragon an exhilarating if poorly engineered ride.

Old People:

Yes, they're everywhere, but they are especially in Hong Kong. When I wasn't getting elbowed out of my place in line or pushed off the sidewalk by them, I was marveling at their resilience. I'm pleased to close the Hong Kong posts with a picture of our favorite old lady riding a bicycle with training wheels on it:

Further support for my theory that old people are actually just really wrinkly six-year-olds.

Wastebaskets of Vietnam: Mr. Crocodile

2009-02-27T18:56:00.001-08:00

Wastebaskets of Vietnam: Winner

2009-02-26T19:00:00.000-08:00

Vietnam has a spectacular array of government-issued wastebaskets, each with the slogan: Happiness to Everybody. The communists sure do make cleaning up the earth fun. Each hotel we've stayed at has had a unique wastebasket. Today we begin our series of inspirational trash receptacles with a wastebasket from Mui Ne:

Mui Ne

2009-02-26T09:00:00.000-08:00

The main reason people go to Mui Ne is to visit the nearby sand dunes. We took the obligatory Jeep day trip, and were pleasantly surprised to find that the other stops on the tour were even more beautiful than the dunes. Also, the beach wasn't half bad. The town had nothing to offer and we were glad we didn't spend any additional time there, but our short trip allowed us to see some really crazy scenery - some stuff you definitely wouldn't expect to find in Vietnam!

On an unrelated note, sorry for the minimal text on my recent blog entries. I'm applying to jobs for when we return to the Bay Area, and I'm making cover letters and resumes my primary writing project.

It's like a jungle on Mars!

Ian plays in the dunes. I think this should be his Facebook photo.

Kite surfers on the beach.

Two Reasons Vietnam is Better than Cambodia

2009-02-25T19:00:00.000-08:00

1) Things You Can Find on the Street:

Nha Trang, Vietnam

Phnom Penh, Cambodia

2) Lunch:

Hoi An, Vietnam

Phnom Penh, Cambodia - where else?

Posts From the Way Back Machine #6: A Day at the Races

2009-02-25T09:00:00.000-08:00

One of the two legal avenues for gambling in Hong Kong is horse racing. Being both law-abiding citizens and compulsive gamblers, Tiara and I carved out an evening from our busy schedule to go bet on some ponies at the Happy Valley Racecourse.

This slanty shot offers the view down track-side.

It's an understatement to say that horse racing is very popular in Hong Kong. Pictures help give an idea of the scale, though it's impossible to get it all in frame. Here's our best effort to give a sense of the scale:

How better to spend a Wednesday night than at the track with 30,000 of your closest friends?

I've been calling it "gambling," but betting on horses is ostensibly a game of skill, with success predicated on one's ability to judge the horses better than the folks setting the odds. Before each race all the horses are walked out to aid in such evaluations. Tiara and I watched closely and employed our patented 37 factor ranking algorithm. Some of the salient characteristics we evaluate include: "coat luster," "observed dental hygeine," and "general squirreliness."

Horses parading for the benefit of savvy gamblers.

After calculating the odds, we then threw out the careful methodology and placed bets on the horses with the best names. Four races later, we had each chosen a winner. I took my victory on a bit of a long shot when "Nasa Pearl" rocketed from the back of the pack and came first across the line. Tiara placed a somewhat safer bet on "Quality Quality," which delivered a true to name performance.

Tiara proudly displays her winning ticket

We were so successful at picking horses that at the end of the night we made back 37 HKD, on just 40 HKD worth of bets. Take that, Hong Kong Jockey's Club!

Posts From the Way Back Machine #5: The Devil's Brew

2009-02-19T23:19:00.000-08:00

Editors note: Ian continues his belated Hong Kong posts with a description of his most traumatic Hong Kong culinary experience.

Hong Kong is known for its unique and exceptional cuisine. Its most famous drink is Milk Tea (港式奶茶, lit: "brown lactation of Qu-Jiang-Wang"), an ubiquitous beverage available at any restaurant on the island. Wikipedia describes this drink as "black tea sweetened with evaporated milk," a description I find so sufficiently lacking in cautionary horror as to be downright irresponsible.

Vignette: The Milk Tea Experience
As background, I have tasted a few strange and repulsive things on this trip, yet many of my best experiences have involved indulging in regional specialties. As such, it was with a cautious optimism that I ordered my first cup of milk tea. My hope quickly turned to trepidation when the server set a metal cup filled with steaming brown goo in front of me. Hesitantly, I lifted the cup to my mouth, and my trepidation gave way to abject terror. The milk tea lurched forward against my lips, releasing a barrage of potent volatile organic compounds that overloaded my olfactory bulb and left me momentarily stunned. Slimy tendrils snaked under my incisors, then braced against my molars and forced my jaw wide, permitting the rest of the sludge entrance to my once guarded mouth. Now inside, this noisome substance skittered about, coating my tongue, lips, and palate with a thick, greasy paste. Having thus marked the bounds of its new territory, the milk tea settled down in the back of my throat, where it invoked squatter's rights. After two months of continued horror and countless legal battles, I am still trying to get the taste out of my mouth.

DIY Hong Kong Milk Tea
Despite my having devoted 200 words to the subject, the milk tea experience is impossible to fully relate without resorting to neologisms or fancy poetry. For the sake of you, dear reader, I offer the following instructions detailing how I assume this beverage is produced, such that the courageous and foolhardy among you might experience it for yourself:
1) Visit into the bulk-tea section of your local whole foods or equivalent. Fill a bag with a mixture of the darkest, smelliest black tea leaves available.
2) Dump the tea leaves into an old gym sock, then stuff the sock into a teapot and fill with boiling water. Let the sock steep for three days.
3) Empty the teapot into a rusty, unseasoned cast iron pan. Reduce the liquid by two thirds.
4) Fill a cup one-half full with syrupy, tongue-coating condensed milk. Slowly add the tea-reduction, stirring as you do so. Add sugar to taste.
5) Enjoy(?)

If you followed the directions correctly, the resulting cup of "tea" should look like the one below:

Repugnaodiurancivomitudinal (adj): Of or relating to the gustatory experience of milk tea.

Ho Chi Minh City

2009-02-17T10:00:00.000-08:00

While Ho Chi Minh City has noise and some trash and way too many motorbikes, it is worlds better than Phnom Penh and we were thrilled to arrive in Vietnam. Immediately after checking into our hotel we took care of our first and most important item of business: finding some pho. The food in Vietnam has been excellent, and our first bowl of pho did not disappoint. Savory broth, unlimited lime, fresh basil...mmm. Thank you to Mallory for first introducing us to pho back in San Jose. Pho Bang definitely stands up to Ho Chi Minh City standards!

We only spent two full days in Ho Chi Minh City, as we were eager to get to Phu Quoc Island for some beach time. The greatest thing we did in the city was attend a county-fair-meets-art-and-garden-show that we stumbled upon in the park. As with most fairs, people had submitted homegrown items for judging. This being Asia, the categories for submission included bonsais, koi, and sculptures made from fruit and plants. We had a great time checking out all the cool fish and meticulously manicured bonsais. As a souvenir, we got cutouts of our silhouettes from an artist with a real talent for recreating profiles with scissors and cardstock - only 10,000 dong (US $0.57) each!

Phobulous!

Crazy motorbike traffic and awesome Power Ranger balloons.

Aquarium in a fish tent at the fair - a sort of nesting doll effect.

A prize-winning bonsai.

This dragon reminds me of a tropical version of the Halloween pumpkins my dad used to make when I was a kid, with vegetables for the facial features and straw for the hair.

Try this dragon topiary fountain in your front yard for that understated look.

Sitting for my silhouette. If I look tired and hot it's because I was and it was!

A Special Message From the Farang Herpetology Department

2009-02-14T07:00:00.000-08:00

Hope you're with that special someone!

Posts From the Way Back Machine #4: Rhymes with Chariman Mao

2009-02-12T18:05:00.001-08:00

Editors Note: In this latest installment of our Hong Kong retrospective, Ian offers insightful commentary on some general Hong Kong strangeness.

A lot of what we saw in Hong Kong were little things too brief to warrant their own posts. I've collected five of our favorites and done a short write-up for each.

Item #1: Snowman Bao

He's smiling because he knows none of us like bao enough to actually eat him

Hong Kong has a lot of bakeries - there were four within a block of our apartment. Anyone who's ever been to China (or Chinatown) knows the Chinese are fans of sweet and/or savory stuffed buns known as 'bao.' A few of the bakeries in Hong Kong like to get a little creative and shape their bao into assorted figures and animals. Presumably this appeals to youth who, after being exposed to countless violent video-games and television programs, prefer a graphic demise for their bakery treats.

Item #2: Very large time-piece

"I said I have a really big clock"

I have two theories to explain this thing:
1) There is long-standing animosity between Japan and China, which can express itself in unexpected ways. Japan has a well known love/fetish for miniaturization and very small things. This monumental chronometer may be a subtle jab at the Japanese aesthetic.
2) Hong Kong strives to provide free or subsidized public services to its residents. Standardized time is a convention that generates tremendous social value, and has a strong network effect. However, most Hong Kong residents live in lofty high-rises, rendering a stationary, normal-size public clock illegible. This giant clock may be the first in a planned network of thousands, designed to insure that anyone can see the time by glancing out their 45th floor window.

Item #3: Safety Eggs

Humpty Dumpty: Never Forget

After an outbreak of Avian Flu instilled panic throughout Hong Kong, the government has taken a major focus on poultry-related food safety. While most of their public awareness campaigns have proved effective, their efforts to ensure that all eggs be equipped with safety harnesses and hard hats has largely been viewed as a failure.

Item #4: Santa Carnage

Santa's been hitting the nog pretty hard

China is not known for its celebration of western religion - the phrase "godless communists" comes to mind. That said, as Special Administrative Regions (SARs), Hong Kong and Macau have no beef with celebrating the largest commercial holiday of the year. We noticed that once the candy cane fueled holiday buying frenzy was over, Santa was literally thrown out on his ass.

Item #5: Greased-Up Educational Guy

A sino-Adonis prepares to show off his kickin' bod

Hong Kong has a wonderful science museum - admission is free on Wednesdays. Anyone familiar with the San Francisco exploratorium has a rough idea of the kind of hands-on science learning found there. Tiara and I are essentially six-year-olds, so we had a lot of fun. However, one exhibit was a little disconcerting. An interactive display allowed you to select a muscle group to learn about. Upon making your selection, a video screen plays a clip of a ripped, oiled, and almost naked man jumping around to demonstrate the muscles for you. In short, the exhibit provides young children with an introduction to musculoskeletal anatomy and homo-erotic video.

Obligatory Southeast Asian Boat Trip

2009-02-11T07:14:00.000-08:00

All travelers in Southeast Asia need at least one "I survived hell on a boat in Cambodia" story. Now we have one too.

We definitely acted against our better judgment when we signed up for this boat trip. We'll blame it on the lack of sleep in Siem Reap and the temple-induced catatonia. The logic went something like this: why travel from Siemp Reap to Battambang on a comfy air-conditioned bus when you can travel by boat in double the time and cost? I was drawn in by Richard's romantic ideas of meandering down lazy Cambodian rivers in a rickety boat while passing fishing villages and listening to "All Along the Watchtower." The fishing villages were idyllic and I did tune into some Dylan on my iPod (we call it the tiPod), and if the boat trip had been two or three hours it would have been very romantic indeed. But, it wasn't three hours - it was nine.

We arrived at our boat just in time to claim some of the very last seats...er, wooden benches, on board. Thirty minutes later, three more vanloads of people had been escorted onto our "rustic" boat. The posted capacity was 24 and there were easily 60 people on board - many of whom were forced to either stand or bake on the roof. Though we nearly tipped over a couple times and had a moment where everyone on the roof had to come down below because the boat was unbalanced, I'd say the first three hours of our ride went very smoothly. We had a good time looking at the floating houses and waving to the naked children playing in the river. We spent the next six hours in a daze, staring at our feet and trying not to be pushed off our bench by a fat man. I only remember two significant events from the last 2/3 of the trip, both of which indicate the grand time I had:

1) While our boat was pulling away from our lunch spot I was hit in the back of the head (twice!) by a passing boat.
2) Ducking down to avoid a branch from hitting me, I was none too pleased when an enormous insect fell from the branch down my shirt.

Thus began our "Cambodia sucks" campaign which, sadly, was not helped by our visit to Phnom Penh (stay tuned!). I'll leave you with photos of some of the boat trip's better moments.

Hour one: pretty good so far!

Hour four: so bored that Tiara is reading Tolstoy and Ian has stopped playing his DS. There are no pictures of hours five through nine as they were all too unflattering to keep.

Umm...maybe we should tell someone how low we're riding in the water.

Actual pretty scenery that I can't say anything bad about:

Elephant Bath!

2009-02-06T19:00:00.000-08:00

I don't think any of the McDowell clan would challenge my claim that visiting the Kuala Gandah elephant sanctuary was by far the best thing we did in Malaysia. I had been wanting to ride elephants since Thailand, but Ian and I found that most places offering rides to tourists were overpriced and treated their elephants poorly. Not wanting to support elephant abuse (by now you know what dedicated elephant activists we are), we decided we'd wait and visit a reputable sanctuary. Unexpectedly, we learned that such a place exists a couple hours' drive north of Kuala Lumpur. Richard, Debbie, Ian, and I rented a taxi for the day to take us to Kuala Gandah, stopping to see some lush jungles and small villages along the way.

The sanctuary cares for injured elephants as well as elephants that are being transported from farming villages (where they were eating the crops and angering the farmers) to Temara Negara National Park, where they will be able to roam freely. Admission to the sanctuary is free, though donations are much appreciated. Visitors have the opportunity to feed and ride the elephants, as well as bathe them in the river. For a good account of the sanctuary's work (as well as fun accounts of their Southeast Asia travels), visit Richard and Debbie's blog at http://vagabond49.blogspot.com.

It was fun to feed the elephants again, especially because this time we got to put fruit directly into their mouths. That is one big, wet tongue! Ian and I enjoyed our bareback elephant ride until the elephant started acting up and wouldn't follow the mahout's orders. Fortunately, the ride was brief and we made it to the ground safely. Without question, the highlight of our visit was playing with the elephants in the water. The four of us rode a large elephant into the water, and the mahout directed it to turn on its side and dump us all into the river. There, we got to bathe two baby elephants. Bathing baby elephants!!! This was so unbelievable and fun and unforgettable that I can really only describe it with cliches. After tearing ourselves away from the babies we were very eager to take up the staff's offer to use the sanctuary's showers. Baby elephants = cute + smelly.

Ian feeding this gentle lady some papaya.

Mmmm...sugar cane.

About to be dumped into the water.

Elephant bath!

Posts From the Way Back Machine #3: Unchecked Narcissism

2009-02-05T07:28:00.000-08:00

I know you're all thinking it, so I'm going to come out and say it. The only reason I'm still on staff here at Farang HQ is my looks - it sure ain't the writing. So drool on fangirls, this post is all about Ian eye-candy.

Pic 1: Ian on the Hong Kong Trail

Look out Babe Ruth, there's a new hunk in town

Hong Kong has a reputation for towering sky-scrapers and bustling city streets, but a linked network of trails ringing the island is one of the true gems. Tiara and I took a walk on the 'Dragon's Back,' which offered stunning vistas of... well let's be honest, the best views on the island weren't the verdant slopes and azure coastline, it was the towering figure of yours truly.

Pic 2: Mecha Strike Force Ian-XGZ Sapphire

Nerdeditors note: While large, this is far from a "life-size" replica. Full-size Gundam units are controlled by humans piloting from a seat in the mammoth robot's chest cavity.

Here's a picture of me next to a large/buff robot statue. I think I compare quite favorably. 'Nuff said.

Pic 3: Ian Sharp Rock Walking

Ow!

Here's a picture featuring my "softer side" - namely, the tender bottoms of my feet. That's right, dear readers, my relationship to the Greek Achilles goes much beyond my superficial resemblance to Brad Pitt's character in Troy.

For some reason people in Hong Kong think it's a good idea to walk around on really pointy rocks without wearing shoes. Either that or these are clever traps for foolish tourists, and they snared another unsuspecting victim.

Here's a low-angle shot of these "death rocks":

Seriously, these things were like three feet high and razor sharp.

That's it for the photo session, the show's over - you can roll your tongues back up into your mouth now. Our more astute readers may notice that I am wearing the same pants and same hiking boots in every photo. No, these were not taken on the same day. Let's just say you have to make choices when you're spending a year living out of a back-pack.

Posts From the Way Back Machine #2: On the Bowel Movements of Canines

2009-02-04T08:00:00.000-08:00

Canis lupus familiaris, or the common dog, was first domesticated some 17,000 years ago in East Asia. This taming of a wild beast marked a momentous point in man's history. Our first and best friend was born - no longer need we feel alone or fear the night.

Though overwhelmingly positive, this new relationship was not without its tensions. Indeed, from it were born two enduring questions we still struggle with today: Why does our "best friend" shit on our floor and how can we get him to do it somewhere else?

A Macanese sign depicting man's displeasure at his companion's core biological function.

Given the site of domestication and ensuing long relationship with our canine companion, it is appropriate then that we turn east for answers. The Japanese, in their wisdom, engineered a dog that does not poop. Meatware dogs everywhere breathed a collective sigh of relief when Sony discontinued the AIBO in 2006. Given that our pets are (for now) destined to be products of biology, Hong Kong has developed a less radical approach.

Conveniently placed alongside trails and popular dog-walking streets, the 'Dog's Latrines' of Hong Kong offer an elegant answer: Give the dogs toilets.

Simple though it seems, the solution is not ready for immediate export. Despite concerted efforts by special interest groups, canine literacy rates in the US are abysmal, among the lowest in the world. What kind of friends are we if we don't equip our companions with the skills necessary to participate in polite society?

It has been some time since the Farang team has taken up an animal rights cause, and we are of course hesitant to do so again after the ensuing debacle, but we wholeheartedly believe that canine literacy is an issue worthy of your senator's time. Please, before you close the page because your boss is coming/get up to go to the bathroom/run to the freezer for a frozen twinkie, take a moment to pick up the phone and call your congressman. Your friend will thank you, and might even be able to find the bathroom.

Posts From the Way Back Machine #1: Hong Kong Product Expo

2009-02-03T04:18:00.000-08:00

Regular readers of the farang blog have probably noticed that I'm not exactly carrying my weight around here. Sadly, so has the farang team management - I've been issued a written warning and placed on probation. As part of my supervisor-approved improvement action plan, I'll be posting a number of thoughts and pictures from Hong Kong - look for them over the next week or so. Anyhow, here's the first.

Tiara and I found out about the "Hong Kong Product Expo" when we were looking for free/cheap entertainment in Hong Kong. Now that we've been we're still not exactly sure what we saw, but it was cheap and Charlie seemed to have a good time. Here are five impressions/pictures:

1) It was very popular:

2) They sell something called "Caterpillar Fungus":

3) They sell it with giant caterpillar fungus mascots:

4) They have a lot of "capsules machines" - tricked-out versions of the coin operated toy machines you might find at the exit of your local supermarket:

5) These machines vend a variety of unusual offerings, including miniature plastic sushi, rubber band guns (some assembly required), and little bits of plastic anatomy:

Number One Cone

2009-02-02T09:00:00.000-08:00

Charlie submitted this (and other work) a month ago when we were still in Hong Kong – I've been slow to help him post it. Sorry Charlie!

Happy january everybody!

Ian says that i have fans and that i need to write more blogs so they will keep reading and “make us all filthy rich.” I don't mind being filthy because i am naturally brown so you can't see dirt on me and also i smell like chocolate. Someone please tell this to ian, he says i “stink like a vagrant belgian” and need to take a bath or the flies will carry me away. I do not like baths or flies, so please do not get me either for christmas or my birthday.

Today i went to the hong kong walk of famous hong kong people (ed note: 'Avenue of the Stars'). It is just like the one in hollywood except that i have a hard time sounding out the people's names and the hand prints are mostly smaller. Ian and tiara don't let me watch enough tv so i have not heard of a lot of the hong kong stars. I did find a good american one though, jackie chan! Jackie chan is the most famous kung fu detective and he starred in lots of movies like "jackie chan in the bronx" and "rush hour" where he plays a detective from the honolulu police. I got a picture of me with his hand print, i think my hands were almost the same size!

It is a little hard to see my face but i am smiling because these are jackie chan's real hand prints!

Maybe i will change my name to charlie chan and do backflips and solve mysteries and have helicopter chases and say folksy chinese wisdom.

Okay, thank you for reading everybody! Here is an inspirational quote that i really like because even if i do not understand all the words it does talk about donuts:

"Optimist only sees donut. Pessimist sees hole."

- Jackie Chan

Happy Birthday, Dad!

2009-02-01T07:00:00.000-08:00

This shark says, "I'm so excited it's your birthday! Party on."

In honor of this special occasion, I got you a present. Hope you like it:

Angkor Wat Part 3: Sunrise

2009-01-30T01:10:00.000-08:00

After staying up late last Tuesday to cheer as Obama became our president, Richard and Debbie roused us early to catch sunrise over Angkor Wat. We were exhausted and completely templed-out, but we knew that this was probably our one chance to see this sunrise. The colors were muted but the early morning light was beautiful, and we had fun playing with our new camera while the rest of the family admired the bas reliefs. This was the perfect ending to three templetacular days.

Sunrise in its true-to-life colors.

Sunrise in our camera's sunset mode!

Me trying to be photography's Joseph Turner. Not saying this is great art, but it was fun.

Pretty light inside the temple.

Brought to you by Ian, master of light!

Richard realized his lifelong dream of visiting Angkor Wat. That kid who's running away was really cute, but didn't want to be in my photo.

Angkor Wat Part 2: What a Relief!

2009-01-27T19:05:00.000-08:00

Many of the temples of Angkor are covered in massive bas reliefs. These reliefs depict historic events and contain lots of religious imagery. Many bas reliefs in the Buddhist temples contained large empty spaces where images of the Buddha had been removed by Hindu leaders. Although the historical significance of the reliefs is generally lost on me, what is really surprising is what good quality most of the reliefs are still in, especially considering they are 600-1,000 years old.

Human battle.

Rooster battle.

A "stick in the eye" specialist.

Some bas reliefs are shiny from being rubbed by foreigners as well as Cambodians in search of protection from the Khmer Rouge. No surprises about which parts get rubbed the most.

Angkor Wat Part 1: Three Days of Temples

2009-01-27T17:00:00.000-08:00

Ian's family ran us ragged in Angkor Wat. Prior to our arrival in Cambodia, we had been accustomed to sleeping eight or nine hours a night. Once we started touring temples it was, "Goodybe, sleep. Hello, wee hours of the morning." This made us a little grumbly and we send our apologies to anyone who had to deal with us on those days. The bright side of getting up early was that we managed to see a lot of temples in the cooler morning hours (followed by lots of temples in the hot afternoon hours). Though the sights were outstanding, I admit I spent a lot of time fantasizing about the hotel pool.

It would be impossible to give you a good overview of what we saw in less than 300 photos. The temples were everything we hoped they would be - mystical, overgrown, ornately carved - and many things we hoped they wouldn't be - overrun with tourists, full of touts, and very, very hot. Angkor Wat could easily be spoiled by the ever-increasing onslaught of tourists, so get there soon. You've probably seen images just like these before, but these are from our very own camera:

Bayan at Angkor Thom.

Tha Prom - definitely our favorite temple.

How much is that cute boy in the window?

These columns sure are crumbly. The slightest touch is all it takes....

Arrival in Cambodia

2009-01-25T19:00:00.000-08:00

The Kuala Lumpur Low Cost Carrier Terminal is the worst airport Ian and I have ever experienced. That's saying a lot, as we were once stuck under Lima airport's leaky roof for nine hours. Here's a good indicator of their ineptitude: our flight to Siem Reap was boarding at a gate with the sign "Hanoi." A mass of people with tickets for three different flights were all in the same line, and no crew members monitored the line to help people figure out where they needed to be. As we passed through the gate (presumably to board our plane), we were individually told our plane number and were released onto the tarmac to find our plane. Here we thought the gate would lead us down one of those little tunnels to our plane but instead we were walking around on the asphalt looking for plane F25. Awesome.

All this means we were very happy to arrive in Siem Reap, Cambodia to begin our three-day tour of Angkor Wat. We were excited to meet up with Ian's sister, Katie, and her boyfriend, Clark, when we arrived. It was Katie's birthday on Monday, and it was pretty cool to have a family reunion in Cambodia to celebrate. A few non-temple photos from our first couple of days:

First night's sunset. We watched it from a hilltop temple with about 1,000 other tourists.

Tiara loves Cambodia sunsets ... as long as the mosquitoes stay away.

Debbie, Katie, and Clark tuk-tuking around town.

The river was very still and had great reflective properties this morning.

Richard and Debbie bought Katie an elephant ride for her birthday. Ian and I were also feeling generous and spent a whole American dollar on bananas so she could feed the elephant.

Kuala Lumpur Photos

2009-01-24T05:41:00.001-08:00

We're way behind in our posts. Charlie has been trying to help, but he's been wrapped up in seeing the sights and in some adventures of his own, as he's sure to tell you about in the near future. We are currently in Battambang, Cambodia, but over the next several days we'll be posting photos from the last couple weeks of our trip, including Angkor Wat. Pardon the lack of chronology here - our favorite ice cream cone kid can only do so many things at once!

Ian has provided you with his astute observations and accurate impressions of our first couple of days in Kuala Lumpur. Once the cockroaches chased us out of our guest house, however, things really improved. We found a nice place in a different part of town, and by the time we left we had gained a real appreciation for the city. The food was excellent, the architecture was impressive, and the nearby sights were pretty cool. Some photos:

Kuala Lumpur Monorail. This is not a bad system, but the crowds are awful during Peak Hours. Needed: more than two cars per train.

Another view of the Petronas Towers.

View from the top: neat tile patterns on the roof of the attached mall.

View of some nice gardens by the towers.

Menara Kuala Lumpur.

Awesome man with a bullhorn teaching passersby how to solve math problems.

The very sacred and craggy Bantu Caves.

Monkey at the Bantu Caves.

TYCGF10B Presents TYCGF1MYR

2009-01-22T21:18:00.000-08:00

In this very special edition of Things You Can Get for 10 Baht, we'd like to bring you a Thing You Can Get for 1 Malaysian Ringgit (roughly equivalent to 10 Baht): Mangosteens.

To sum up Mangosteens in a word: Mmmmmm. They are the legendary fruit of Southeast Asia, lauded in poems, songs, and biology textbooks for their healing powers and antioxidants. Ian and I looked into the magical mangosteen powers online and found that this is probably bogus, but mangosteen love lives on anyway. We read one old medical account that said, "When a patient refuses a mangosteen, you know his case is beyond hope." I couldn't agree more. Tangy and sweet. Soft and juicy. Antioxidant power (maybe)! W'hat's not to like?

The edible part of the mangosteen is the white segments (like a citrus) surrounded by a thick, bitter purple peel. The fruit is hard to open and sometimes releases a sticky green goo. It's worth the mess for the fruit, though. I could see mangosteen juice catching on at home like POM did.

Mangosteen and aforementioned green goo.

Know your alcoholic relatives

2009-01-17T05:14:00.000-08:00

Malaysia has a deserved reputation for producing cheap knock-offs of designer brands. Less well known is the homage they pay to the unsung heroes of the alcohol industry, the siblings and relatives of the famous names in booze. Here are two examples of this enlightened local practice.

Stanley Morgan

The lesser known Morgan twin, Stanley spent most of his life in the shadow of his renowned brother. Though he showed little ambition to achieve the coveted 'Captain' rank, Stanley was a skilled boatswain and accomplished concert pianist. His budding music career was tragically cut short when a freak dominoes accident claimed the first, third and fourth fingers of his right hand. He lived out his later years on a small distillery in Barbados, until he was slain by one of his former crew-members over a waving related misunderstanding.

Louis Martin

One of the many, many Louis from France, Monsieur Martin was a hopeless drunk and an incorrigible philanderer. Perhaps his sole contribution to society lay in a letter he wrote to his grand-nephew, which read in part:

Dear Remy,
The bottle of "champagne" you sent me was as intoxicating as swine piss and tasted no better. Quit mucking about with your girly fruit juice and make something that'll give your grand-uncle a decent buzz, you worthless little [expletive deleted].

Louis Martin died of self-inflicted wounds incurred in a drunken brawl with a Versaille men's room bathroom mirror. Eyewitness reports claim he mistook his reflected visage for a "bloodshot, bat-faced, cake eating Englishman," then threw himself at the mirror in an intoxicated rage.

A Special Message from the Farang Team Psy Ops Department

2009-01-16T02:17:00.000-08:00

Kuala Lumpur Impressions: Update

2009-01-14T07:05:00.000-08:00

Our hostel has a communal bathroom. This is not a problem for me - I spent plenty of time in college sharing wash-areas with people dirtier than even the smelliest Canadian (ed note: see/smell Gary Yao, 1983 - present). That said, I was startled by the loud banging on the shower door during my morning ablutions. I had just begun selecting my choicest epithets for this would-be intruder when the door crashed open with a resounding crack. Standing before me was a cockroach the size of a 1975 Buick Electra. I cannot say for sure whether the creature was one of the exoskeletoned juggernauts I saw last evening - I don't mean to sound racist but honestly they all look alike to me.

Anyhow, there I stood face to face with this Kafka-esque monstrosity. Armed with nothing but my liquid soap and my Farang team issue Smith & Wesson 908 (never shower without it), I stood my ground, putting three rounds into my new friend 'Gregor' before he scurried back into the bowels of the Kuala Lumpur drainage system. Only a watery trail of sulfurous ichor betrayed the horror I had just witnessed . Suffice to say I will be changing hotels.

Lest I give an overly negative impression, our first full day in KL was otherwise very pleasant. We visited Chinatown, which was full of pushy touts but also had some good eats, then headed over to see the Petronas towers, which are 10 times as awesome as I thought they would be. I'll leave you with some pictures:

One of the two towers and a section of the sky bridge.

The foyer of the connecting building

First impressions of Kuala Lumpur

2009-01-13T20:02:00.000-08:00

We just arrived from Hong Kong, which was, by my recollection, a verdant utopia - sort of like the garden of eden, but with better streets and fewer snakes. Now we are in Kuala Lumpur. Here is what I know so far:
1) It is hot here. This means we are in all likelihood closer to hell.
2) It is dirty here. Not in the way a sandbox is dirty, but in the way a dumpster is dirty.
3) There are people who are probably prostitutes leaning against the front of our building. Alternatively, the fashion here is very "forward."

And now a vignette:
Returning from the corner store, we crossed paths with a pair of young gentlemen who had just espied some of the local fauna. Namely, a cockroach the size of a large cantaloupe. The youths instigated an impromptu soccer game using the offending insect as the ball, until a missed kick let it scurry off down the street. Nonplussed, the monster roach rounded the corner and proceeded to mug an elderly man, relieving him of his sole earthly possessions: a half eaten sandwich and a set of wooden teeth.

Panda Butt Scratch

2009-01-12T06:52:00.000-08:00

We got a new camera to replace our ailing SD 400 warhorse. It makes videos small enough to upload, so now you can all see what we see.

The Farang team contracted with numerous image consultants to select the best clip to inaugurate our video blogging offerings, something that really says "We're the Farang team." The selected movie was chosen unanimously. Without further ado, here is the highlight of our trip to Hong Kong's Ocean Park:

More Fun Things for Sale on the Dried Seafood Street

2009-01-11T02:42:00.000-08:00

Mmmm, bezoars. Also, where did those "teeth" actually come from?

Macau Casinos

2009-01-09T19:00:00.000-08:00

Macau is the only place in China where casinos are legal. There are a few historic casinos, but the big American companies are moving in fast. The Wynn, MGM Grand, Sands, and Venetian are already here. In fact, the Venetian in Macau is the largest casino in the world, and man did it feel like it. I'm pretty sure that within five years we'll be hearing about the Cotai Strip just as much as the Las Vegas Strip. Unlike the Vegas casinos, there doesn't seem to be a lot of partying or drinking involved in the scene. People take their cards very seriously here. Ostentatiousness, however, was readily displayed. Observe:

The Grand Lisboa and Casino Lisboa - two of the old timers. The Grand Lisboa was pretty nice, but the Casino Lisboa - despite the marvelously excessive use of lights - was like a dungeon inside.

Casino district skyline.

Incredible and intricate ivory carving in the Grand Lisboa.

The Wynn, stepping on Bellagio's toes and hosting their own fountain show. The Wynn does the Bellagio one better though - theirs includes fire!

This was very strange. Every half hour the Wynn casts visualizations on its ceiling, which then opens to reveal a crystal chandelier. The chandelier is lowered while a golden tree rises from a hole in the floor. The tree rotates and changes colors for about five minutes before being lowered back into its hole. The chandelier is raised, the ceiling is closed, and everything returns to normal. All this is set against a very dramatic Hollywood score, though Ian and I can't remember what movie it's from. Although this was neat to look at, I can't say I really get it.

Pretty colors in the MGM Grand. Also on display: glass by Chihuly (or "Chitooly," as Ian calls him).

At the slots, Ian got the auspicious five canaries, winning $85 HKD!

Who needs Venice when the Macau Venetian is only an hour away?

Complete with opera-singing gondoliers.

Around Macau

2009-01-08T19:00:00.000-08:00

We have been so overwhelmed by all that Hong Kong has to offer that we almost forgot we meant to explore other places while we were here too. Fortunately, we were able to throw together a last-minute trip to Macau, just a couple of days before Ian's parents arrived. We spent two days exploring the city and its casinos (stay tuned for the casino post, coming soon). The Portuguese influence is still apparent in the city's architecture and food. Although 95% of the population of Macau is Chinese, Portuguese is still one of the official languages and I had a great time reading signs and menus. I didn't "ultrapassar a linha amarela" but I did have a "bom ano novo." Who wants to practice Portuguese with me? Maybe we can start up weekly lunches or something.

We took our guidebook's recommended walking tour of the historic center of the city and promptly decided that Lonely Planet plans terrible walking tours. We did some wandering on our own and really enjoyed ourselves. We took so many photos of the city and the casinos that we are having a very hard time choosing just a few to post. Here are some from our walking tour:

We lucked out and arrived in Macau on the last day that Christmas decorations were displayed. The dozens of Santas and reindeers we saw were all gone the next day.

The Cathedral of St. Paul, now just a dramatic facade (with a crypt!).

Incense coils at the A' Ma temple. I'm more than a little obsessed with these. Sadly, Ian just read something that said they're incredibly toxic.

Very common throughout Asia: bamboo graffiti.

The Macau Tower, looking very much like the Space Needle. We saw some people bungee jumping off the top.

Poor Piglet, but these were insanely tasty. Don't tell Charlie.

More Apt Naming

2009-01-07T08:00:00.000-08:00

Kadoori Farm - Fun and Signs

2009-01-06T18:12:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we went out to the Hong Kong Wetland Park, in the New Territories. Our book said it was open Wednesday-Tuesday (that's every day, by normal conventions), which turned out to not include Tuesday. Thanks Lonely Planet. Already being out in the HK boonies, we detoured to Kadoori Farm, which is a combination of farm, bio-awareness museum, zoo, and hiking facility. Here's a fat pig:

The sign has his name as 'Jai Jai,' but in my mind he'll always be 'Emperor Snorffles'

The farm is built on some scenic real-estate. A shuttle bus took us up to the top, which had a suitably Chinese looking platform that gives a pretty good view of the area below.

Roofs like this one satisfy our need to feel like we're in China proper without actually paying for the visa.

Tiara, Farang team founder in her natural element

From the top we hiked down through the farm, enjoying the pleasant wooded trails and cobblestones. Along the way we were treated to some humorous signs, some of which are reproduced here for your enjoyment:

Forget flowers, show that special someone how you really feel.

I'm pretty sure half the guys at my high school went here. Seriously, you should have met these jerks.

This last sign begs viewer participation:

Keeping with the spirit of this sign, we pass the task to you, dear readers: What can you spread to help your community? We invite you to post your answers in the comments.

The First Post of the New Centennium

2008-12-31T17:10:00.000-08:00

Well folks, another major milestone has slipped by without anyone really noticing. That's right, the Farang blog aired its 100th post with Tiara's picture of dehydrated ducks, making this officially post number 101. I'd like to say that our core readers were the most congratulatory, but the loving city of Hong Kong has outdone itself with its hospitality.

Just look at the fireworks show they ran for us, pretty darned impressive!

As part of the "Tiara and Ian's 100th post celebration" - curiously abbreviated "New Years 2009" by the city of Hong Kong - fireworks were launched from the rooftops of ten downtown buildings.

Here you can see some of the fireworks shooting off the side of the 2 IFC building (sorry about the streetlight). Note the use of red, green, and gold, the official Farang colors.

We had tried to watch the big show from the bridge out to the Star Ferry Pier, but police officers came through and ushered everyone off of the railing at ten minutes to midnight, ourselves included. Not the way I would treat my guests of honor, but it's important to understand that there are cultural differences here.

Fortunately for me, I had Tiara "eagle eye" Grayson along. Using her unrivaled visual acuity she spied a mostly empty parking garage roof a few blocks away. We made it up to the top floor at 11:59, just in time for our big show. Waves of our adoring fans shortly followed, captured in the picture below:

This crowd of revelers turned out to show their appreciation for the Farang blog. The blurry picture masks their tears of joy and appreciation.

And that, dear readers, is the story of our 101st post.

Happy New Year!

For Sale on the Dried Food Street

2008-12-27T21:19:00.000-08:00

Something horrible has happened to these ducks.

A Charlie Cone Christmas

2008-12-25T18:34:00.000-08:00

Hi everybody, it's me, charlie!

Happy christmas and kwanza and hannukah and veteran's day! I hope i didn't leave anyone out. I loooooove presents and candy and holidays and i went on a "special investigation" to see christmas in hong kong.

First i asked a nice reindeer to take me to santa so i could ask him holiday questions. (Charlie fact #1: reindeer have very sensitive noses and can smell santa from three miles away or even more if there is no wind).

This reindeer was lazy and didn't take me very far, but it was fun to ride!

I was nervous to see santa because the last time i saw santa it was also christmas except that it was really sad and i got lost. We were on the sleigh and i was wrapped in a box for a little boy named 'kasem shinawathra' and it was dark and noisy but i heard santa say that kasem "just gibbed a kitten with the mower" and wouldn't get any presents. So santa dropped me off in bangkok with barnaby, the "regional warehouse supervisor elf" and he loaded me into a big box with some other animals and we were fedex-ed to the north pole c/o krabin, the "toy redistribution elf". But something went wrong and instead of going back we ended up at the mall in krabi where they sold me for money to ian and tiara so i guess it was okay. Ian and tiara are neat!

Tiara helped me to see santa and also to not get stepped on by the kids that are bigger than me.

I said hi to santa but he didn't remember me and he smelled like moldy grapes and wanted to borrow $20. There were a lot of other kids that wanted to see santa so i couldn't ask him about making toys and how to grow a white beard and who his new favorite ice cream cone kid is since he doesn't like me any more. Santa if you are reading this then i say shame on you for pretendeding not to know charlie your favorite ice cream cone kid, and also to please pay me back the money on the first like you promised.

After we saw santa tiara and ian went to go buy christmas foods at the mall and i got to look around. I found santa again but i don't think he was feeling well (maybe all the moldy grapes!) and he wouldn't move or speak or give high-fives.

Santa was maybe in a comma or dead but i took my picture anyway

I gave up and went and rode up and down the escalator for an hour while tiara and ian finished shopping.

These are escalators, i don't know if you've played on them before but they're really fun and you can walk down the one that's going up but stay in the same place!

I was tired from all the excitement but tiara and ian wanted to look at the lights so we went on a ferry and looked at the lights and they were pretty and not as blurry as they look in the pictures i took.

Here's a hotel. It looked like it had falling snow but it wasn't real snow because it glowed yellow and didn't fall to the ground and it tasted like glass and burned my tongue when i tried to lick it.

Here's a tilty shot of what the buildings look like across the harbor.

I know that i am supposed to be a good reporter but i fell asleep on the ferry back because i was very tired from running up and down the escalator. But when i woke up in the morning there was a box for me from santa!

This is me opening presents. Charlie fact #2: I loooooooooove presents.

Santa gave me my favorite thing, chocolates! I guess he remembered his 'ol pal charlie cone after all :)

This chocolate says 'alexandre le grand' on it. I like to eat chocolates with people heads on them, i eat the noses first

Okay, that's the charlie report. Ian says i should end it with something like "happy holidays from everyone at the farang team," but yesterday he called santa "dirty" and "probably homeless" so i'm not going to.

Flower Signage: Long-Leaved Sterculia

2008-12-25T17:00:00.000-08:00

Please Do Not Fall Off Cliffs

2008-12-24T20:33:00.000-08:00

Pictorial representations on signs of forbidden actions can be much more dynamic here.

Free Hong Kong: Chrysanthemum Show

2008-12-24T18:00:00.000-08:00

We are continuing to take advantage of all the free things Hong Kong has to offer. Earlier this week we went to the chrysanthemum show at the Yueng Yueng Institute in the New Territories. It was a pretty serious trek to get out there, necessitating three different modes of transportation (tram, metro, and minibus), but it was well worth it. Seeing all these flowers set among temples, incense, and lanterns made me feel like I was seeing a piece of China as I envisioned it when I was a kid. Here's the picture dump:

Pretty!

Chrysanthemum pheasants...or peacocks.

We loved this statue of a melty old man.

In addition to the beautiful flower displays, the neighboring monastery and temple were stunning. What these pictures sadly can't capture is the otherworldy chanting the monks were performing. Our new camera will have a better video function, so we can bring you sounds in addition to sights.

I love this photo. Temples, silk, lanterns - so many cliched yet very beautiful images of China all in the same picture. Also, how great are those colors?

I got a little carried away taking photos of lanterns.

Cantonese hedges.

McPie a la McMode

2008-12-23T20:11:00.000-08:00

As part of my effort to document our declining standards for 'Western food,' I've photographed one of my favorite deserts from this trip:

A McDonald's take on an American classic

It's morally-abhorrently delicious! Hey, that's not a half-bad slogan... Take note, McDonald's marketing department.

Flower Signage: Pond Spice

2008-12-23T18:00:00.000-08:00

Another good sign from the peak:

Free Hong Kong: Hong Kong Park

2008-12-22T02:50:00.001-08:00

Hong Kong has a surprising amount of dedicated parks and green spaces. Hong Kong Park, in the central district, is an extensive park with nice landscaping, fountains, and museums. Our two favorite free attractions here were the conservatory and the aviary. The conservatory, though small, had a nice collection of desert and tropical plants. The aviary was spectacular. You walk through the space on an elevated wooden walkway. We were fortunate in our timing - they'd just put out lots of fruit so the birds were all in full view, snacking away. The aviary had a large variety of birds, including parrots, pelicans, pheasants, kingfishers, and all sorts of things my bird-watching parents would get very excited about. Best of all, it was free, free, free!

Elevated walkways in the aviary.

Holiday art displays in the park.

Flower Signage: Long-Flowered Ehretia

2008-12-22T02:46:00.000-08:00

The Peak

2008-12-22T02:13:00.000-08:00

The Peak is the tallest point on Hong Kong Island. We took the bus up here for some city views that we were hoping would be spectacular, but which were actually pretty smoggy. The bus ride was really fun, though. The city buses here are all double-decker, and the prime seats are in the very front on the upper level. It was pretty exhilarating to experience the steep road and tight turns with nothing in front of us but the windshield.

There are some nice trails around the peak, and it was nice to get away from the city streets for awhile. We also enjoyed the informational signs about the different foliage we could see on the trail. The writer had a bit of a poetic, romantic streak. Stay tuned for more of these signs in the next few days.

View of Hong Kong's central district from the top.

In case you were wondering what mainland China looks like from Hong Kong, there it is! Smog, smog, smog.

Ian loves these trees.

Good flower signage. Click on the photo to read the text.

The Best Latte Of Our Trip

2008-12-18T00:41:00.000-08:00

Those of you who were around me over the summer know that I developed what might be politely described as a "latte fixation." I attempted to break this habit at the start of the trip, as a latte in Thailand cost as much as two meals. Later, in Laos, the price of meals went up and lattes seemed comparatively reasonably priced, though in real dollar terms they were the same as in Thailand (~$1.50 USD). My latte habit was reborn, albeit without the organic, fair trade, bourgeois beans of California.

All of this set-up is to explain that I've been drinking mediocre, over-priced coffee for the last month or so. Until today. Today, I tried the cheapest latte I've seen offered in Hong Kong, and it was delicious, far surpassing the dregs I've been served elsewhere. Enough suspense, here's the coffee:

Mmmmmm, McLatte

Such is the price of addiction, dear readers. I've gone from high-principled consumption of shade-grown sustainable beans that empower indigenous peoples to the coffee of McDonalds, ecological disaster incarnate, pillager of the underclass, fattener of our children. How swiftly morals are abandoned to serve the almighty (Hong Kong) Dollar.

Here's a slightly blurry photo of the sumptuous McCafe:

A McBarista prepares a McLatte while the McCustomer (Susan McFong) waits for her McOrder

Free Hong Kong: Chinese Instrumental Concert

2008-12-16T10:00:00.000-08:00

Hong Kong has a reputation for being expensive. We're out to prove otherwise with our "Free Hong Kong" series. We've found some directories of free events happening in the city in the next month, so we'll be getting as much free entertainment as we want. Our first event was a Chinese instrumental concert held in a park downtown. The music was lovely and it was a relief to hear the Chinese violin make sweet sounds, rather than those horrible high-pitched scratching noises generated by the Chinese violinist on the Berkeley campus.

Hair Salon Engrish

2008-12-15T18:15:00.001-08:00

I think I'd prefer the Good Hair Salon or even, dare I say it, the Excellent Hair Salon. However, this place is definitely a cut above the Half Bad Hair Salon.

First Days in Hong Kong

2008-12-14T02:09:00.000-08:00

We love Hong Kong already. There's way more to see and do here than in Bangkok, and there was plenty to do in Bangkok! We've just about finished recuperating from our train trip, flight, and lingering colds, so we are starting to explore. There will be many, many more pictures where these came from, but here are some to whet your palate.

Our first impression of Hong Kong was what you see on TV: the hustle and bustle, the dense skyscrapers, and the futuristic architecture:

Double-decker tram cars. This is the most convenient mode of public transportation to our apartment, and definitely the most fun.

The controversial Bank of China building, designed by I.M. Pei. Apparently all its angles make for bad feng shui.

Hong Kong is the future!

Amazingly, in the midst of all that chaos, commerce, and construction, there are serene parks, incense-infused temples, intense Christmas lights, and, of course, the Chairman:

Flamingos!

We stayed at this temple (the Man Mo Temple) for approximately 30 seconds before our eyes started stinging and our throats burned from all the incense.

Mind Your Edibles Part 2: Sign Engrish

2008-12-13T22:18:00.000-08:00

Here's the long awaited second half of the 'Mind Your Edibles' series, featuring signs from the food market at Chiang Rai. I did my best to make them readable, but I've also typed out some of the delectable food options.

These read like short, sometimes grammatically correct sentences.
Left: The Moustache is Tiny Squid Roasts, The Demon Moustache Squid Roasts, The Banana Squid/Egg Squid Roasts.
Right: The Shrimp Burns, The Meatball Fries Every The Wood, The Ark Shell Scalds/Burns

This stand also features the popular "The Demon Moustache Squid Roasts," but offers up more traditional fare, like "Hor Deuver." I particularly like the presentation of "Shrimp Burns," as it sounds more like a service than a dish.

Arrival in Hong Kong

2008-12-10T20:47:00.001-08:00

After a 30 hour journey, we have arrived in Hong Kong. We began our trek in Chiang Mai and took the overnight sleeper train (13 hours) to Bangkok. We then spent the entire day in the airport and took an evening flight to Hong Kong. We'll be staying in our friend Nick's apartment for the next month, as he will be back in the USA for the holidays. As soon as we arrived last night, we headed out on the town with Nick and his friends. We're suffering from a serious case of sticker shock after our dirt-cheap three months in Thailand and Laos. Drinks in bars are as expensive as in New York or San Francisco (if not more so). Though we probably won't be frequenting the bars, we're glad we got to see some Hong Kong nightlife. Later (or rather, around 2:30 this morning), we went to Nick's friend's house, which is a gorgeous four-story building overlooking the harbor. His dad works for Wachovia and they have clearly taken good care of him. We'll be spending the next couple of days sleeping, probably trekking no further than to the grocery store. Once we're rested and ready to explore, we'll be sure to post our photos. We're looking forward to upcoming Hong Kong adventures, and to seeing Richard and Debbie in less than a month!

Let's all have a hot air balloon chase!

2008-12-09T09:00:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone!

I'm agent double-oh charlie, and I've got a license to watch movies and eat candy! This is my first movie review but I'll try to write good like an ebert roper.

We saw the new james bond movie. I forgot to write down the title but i think it was kwantamovsolis, which is a city in russia or south australia or maybe jupiter. Before the movie everyone stood up to watch a short film about the king of thailand. He looks like a really nice guy with his glasses and big ears. Then we watched james bond!

Charles stands to respect the king.

SPOILER ALERT!!!!! Milk goes bad if you forget to put it in the fridge and then it can smell like blueberries or even worse. Also i am going to write about a movie you maybe haven't seen before so don't read it if you don't want to.

I closed my eyes whenever there were guns or explosions or yelling or kissing, so i maybe missed a few things. OK here goes:

First there was a car chase and then a rooftop chase and a boat chase. Then they all went to the opera and the singing was so bad that they started shooting each other. Next james visited an italian man and drank a lot of juice from a funny shaped glass and then he can't find the hotel stationary so he goes to a fancy party instead. James has to leave the party early so he's not late for the airplane chase, and then there was a BIG LIZARD in the desert. I am scared of deserts because they are really hot and dry and people can go crazy and try to eat a nice ice-cream kid instead of giving him laffy taffy and high-fives. Anyhow, james bond drops his necklace and they run out of things to chase each other with so the movie ends.

Rating: 2 stars, one thumb, and half a maraschino cherry.

Chiang Mai: Wats, Wats, Wats

2008-12-08T19:00:00.000-08:00

In its "Sights and Activities" section, our guidebook lists no fewer than 30 "must see" wats in Chiang Mai. So far, we've visited two.

Wat happened to this one?

And how did the elephants get stuck in that wall? Was it a conservative plot to end the elephant suffrage campaign?

One: cut a hole in the box. Two, stick a monk in that box... The Thais love these wax monks. It's pretty creepy to walk down the street and think someone is watching you, only to realize it's a wax monk in a box. Wouldn't you like one for your home?

One wat had this park with inspirational sayings posted on all the trees. They were the most cliched sayings too, like "Time and tide wait for no man." Next we'll be seeing those "persistence" and "teamwork" office posters taped to all the Buddhas.

Ian Ate Rodents

2008-12-08T00:33:00.000-08:00

The results are in, 8 (66%) of you decided that I ate rodents, though not necessarily rats, while 33% of you said I definitely ate rats. In a surprising show of trust, no voters called me a rotten liar.

As promised, I now wholly believe that I ate rodent flesh, and am 33% suspicious that I ate rat. Thanks all for simplifying my mental life!

In other news, Charlie asked me to let you know that he has an exciting movie review coming out on the 9th. Don't miss it!

Cooking Class

2008-12-07T18:00:00.000-08:00

I've really been wanting to take a cooking class, and Chiang Mai is the place to do it. We signed up for a day at the Chiang Mai Thai Cookery School. We made six dishes - they're all pictured below except for the Tom Yum Kung, which I forgot to take a picture of. It was one of the best things we made too. The course was very professional and well-run. We were a little disappointed that they did most of the prep work in advance, so basically all we had to do was chop ingredients and cook them. For example, we didn't make our own curry pastes or shrimp stock. But, it sure does make Thai cooking easy when you don't have to shop and someone else does your prep for you. The final results were really good. Our food was delicious and we had a great time.

And now, introducing the chefs:

And the dishes (minus Tom Yum):

Fried fish cakes, a la Ian.

Pad Thai and Green Chicken Curry, a la Ian. You can see a corner of Pad Thai a la Tiara, but Ian's was much prettier.

My green curry was beautiful, though.

Minced chicken salad and jellied water chestnuts in syrup and cream, a la Tiara. Yes, that dessert tasted as weird as it sounds.

And, finally, a shot of me not paying attention in class. We got step-by-step instruction in creating each dish before we were set loose to try it on our own. There was an angled mirror over the instructor's station so we could see exactly what was happening in the pots and on the cutting board:

Mae Sai

2008-12-06T20:40:00.000-08:00

Last week we went to Mae Sai, Thailand's northernmost city. We've been in touch with someone who lives there, and he gave us the good advice to climb the "hill of the five scorpions." There were, in fact, five sculptures of scorpions at the top of the hill, including this large one that overlooks the city:

The hill also offered spectacular views of Myanmar:

There's Myanmar, nestled into those lush hills. It looks like Lucas Valley in the spring.

The blue wat is right at the border crossing.

This bridge is the official border crossing. It costs about $15 US to cross, be it for one hour or two weeks. We didn't cross, as you can't go very far as a US citizen.

Pak Ou Caves

2008-12-05T07:00:00.000-08:00

Our second, and less exciting, day trip from Luang Prabang was to the Pak Ou Caves. These caves are filled with 4,000 buddhas in varying states of disrepair. The caves would have been more enjoyable had they not been crammed with tourists. Then again, as we are tourists too, we probably shouldn't complain. We did spend an enjoyable couple of hours on a boat in the Mekong, and we stopped at the very touristy "whisky village." We were told we'd get to see how the whisky was made, but instead we saw how the bracelets and tapestries were sold by little children.

It's dark inside caves!

Standing in the cave and looking across the Mekong.

I think all the snakes and scorpions in the whisky bottles are supposed to make men extra strong and virile. I do not want to drink this whisky.

A beautiful rooster at the whisky village - hopefully it won't be winding up in one of those bottles.

A truly spectacular sign educating the Lao people about hygiene. Can I get one of these for my classroom?

Tat Kuang Si Waterfall

2008-12-04T18:00:00.000-08:00

One of our day trips from Luang Prabang was to the stunning Tat Kuang Si waterfall. We ate fried rice at the base of the waterfall, and then hiked up a perilous trail and stood in the rushing water at the very top (don't worry, mom and dad - there was a railing...sort of). On the way back down we stopped in one of the myriad pools for a swim. The water was crisp and very cold, but very refreshing. This was the best day trip we took from Luang Prabang, and was another of those wonderful "gee, life sure is rough" moments.

I took this picture! You can call me Tiara "Ansel Adams" Grayson from now on.

Looking down from the top.

Ian, boldly going where I would not go.

We jumped from this tree into the water below - so fun!

Mind Your Edibles Part 1: Rat Soup?

2008-12-03T20:49:00.000-08:00

In the first part of our two part series, I present to you a mystery.

Exhibit A: The Soup

The above picture was taken after I finished a meal of soup on a road-side stop of a long bus ride. The dish was advertised as noodle soup, the animal content was not specified. The meat in question can be seen at the top of the bowl. It tasted gamy, sort of but not exactly like rabbit.

I had reservations about the soup before taking my first bite, after someone walked through carrying a piece of Exhibit C (below). Why did I continue eating the soup? Let the record show that it was very late and I was very hungry, and let's leave it at that.

Exhibit B: The Guinea Pig Cage

This picture did not come out very well, but I think you get the idea. These fine furry critters were piled up in a crate about five feet away from where soup was being served. They were still alive, as far as I could tell.

Exhibit C: BBQ Rat

Perhaps the most damning evidence was the presence and service of BBQ rats. As mentioned above, I did see one of these come through the dining room before I ate my soup, though I had already placed my order.

Thus concludes the evidence for the question: Did Ian eat rat soup?
Amateur sleuths are invited to submit their opinion in the poll at the top right corner of the page.
Ian will abide by the prevailing opinion in concluding whether or not he ate rat soup.

Luang Prabang

2008-12-03T20:39:00.000-08:00

We spent a wonderful week in Luang Prabang. Luang Prabang is the historic and cultural capital of Laos. This was a great place to just relax for a week and enjoy the night markets and riverside views. We did take a couple of day trips, which I'll post about later. The city is a really interesting mix of Southeast Asian and Western influences, resulting in some good deals on delicious food. We could have easily spent a month here. Here are some highlights:

Phu Si, a woodsy hill in the middle of the city topped with a wat and many Buddhas.

Ian with his new monk friends. Look, they match!

View of Luang Prabang and the Mekong river from Phu Si.

Riverside views

Night market food. One stall let you fill your bowl for 5,000 kip (approx. 65 cents)

Cooking our own lunch - grilled meat and egg flower soup. Sooo delicious.

The answer to "what the hell was that incessant banging at 4:15am?" = monks playing the gong.

Bike traffic. If we survive this trip without getting hit by a motorbike we will be extremely lucky.

Key difference between US and Thai dentistry

2008-12-03T06:32:00.001-08:00

In US dentistry, the dentist gives you anesthetic before they start drilling.

In Thai dentistry, they don't.

Buddha Park Part 2: Vientiane

2008-11-30T19:00:00.000-08:00

The sculpture garden in Vientiane was a lot smaller than the one across the river, but it had some pretty strange features. Our favorite sculpture was an enormous head that we entered through the mouth. Inside, it was very dark, but we could just make out the shapes of lots of old and broken sculptures cluttering the ground. There were steep spiraling stairs that lead up through the head to a tower on top, from which there was a great view of the park. Psychedelic, huh?

The opening at the top of the head

The complicated neurological structures of the sculpture

Ian made it out of the head alive!

Buddha Park Part 1: Nong Khai

2008-11-30T06:47:00.000-08:00

In 1958 an eccentric priest-shaman, Luang Pu, built a massive Hindu-themed sculpture garden in Vientiane, Laos. After the revolution he fled to Thailand, and he built another sculpture garden in Nong Khai in 1975. The two gardens face each other across the Mekong River. We love sculpture gardens, so we made sure to visit both of them while we were in the Thai-Lao border area. First off, we checked out the more recent park in Nong Khai. There were lots of Buddhas, of course, but also some neat mythological and surreal creations. See for yourself:

Eternal love:
Brutal:

I made a post about a big gate

2008-11-25T20:24:00.000-08:00

Hi everybody!

I'm still charlie, and here is my first post "on assignment!" Tiara said if i do good on this one i can write another. Ian said "go away you little batard, i'm trying to sleep." I don't know why he called me a batard when i am an ice cream cone, i think he is still confused from being sick.

Okay, now i will start my report, I went a couple days ago but some of the words are hard and it took me extra long to press all the letters. This is the victory gate of vientiane! Tiara gave me a ride because my legs are little and i can't always keep up.

A sign said the gate is a monster and it made me scared. Tiara said not to worry that calling it a monster was a "petit foure" (i think that is what she said).

We climbed all the way up to the top of the arch. Inside it was dark and scary and ian said it looked and smelled like a subway, but not the kind with jared and the sandwiches. At the top i looked down and it was really far.

Afterward we went and looked at it from the other side. I took a picture of it from far away, but the camera is really big and it came out kind of slanty. Tiara read in her big yellow book that it is made from concrete donated to build an air strip, and that some people call it the "vertical runway." I waited for three hours but didn't see any planes land on it :(

Ian and tiara went on a walking tour instead of watching for jets, so i had to take the bus back by myself. It was hard but i am okay, thank you for asking.

Okay, you can leave now. Bye everybody!

Sunsets #2: Ridiculous Koh Phi Phi Pictures

2008-11-22T08:00:00.000-08:00

As promised, here's the second installment of the sunsets series. These were taken over three nights in Koh Phi Phi - the first set was from a hill overlooking the main two beaches, the second and third set were taken from our guest house on 'Long Beach.' Again, it's hard to get this stuff with a camera, but some of these still came out quite pretty. Enjoy.

Night 1 - Picture 1

Night 1 - Picture 2

Night 2 - Picture 1

Night 2 - Picture 2

Night 2 - Picture 3

Night 3 - Picture 1

Night 3 - Picture 2

Koh Phi Phi

2008-11-21T19:54:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's pronounced "pee pee." Phi Phi is a collection of twelve islands. The biggest, Phi Phi Don, is the only one that's inhabited. While you were all watching the election results on TV, we were on the ferry to Phi Phi Don, biting our nails and worrying that McCain would pick up every swing state. When we found a guest house on the island, the first thing we did was turn on the TV and see that Obama was giving a victory speech. Much excitement ensued.

Phi Phi is an expensive and heavily touristed island. We were unhappy with the beach we first settled at, so we moved a couple beaches down the island and found a good deal on this very slanty bungalow:

Even better, the hotel's restaurant served this super fun fried rice in pineapple dish:

The main attraction in Phi Phi is to take a boat trip to the other islands in the archipelago. We took our second private longtail trip for an all-day excursion of sightseeing and snorkelling. The first (and most popular) stop was Maya Bay, the setting for that infamous beach in the aptly named film The Beach. Our guide book says that Maya Bay is so beautiful that it will make you weep, and that you'll weep again when you realize how many tourists you have to share the beach with. True on both counts. It was stunning, and would be far more so if it weren't the Disneyland of southern Thailand.

We did find that piece of tranquility on this deserted beach on Bamboo Island, where we enjoyed lunch and a walk all the way around the island:

At Monkey Island, we kept our distance while we watched others get a little too close to the monkeys. Word of advice: if your sandal falls off on Monkey Island, do not try to retrieve it. Finders Keepers is definitely the rule here. This scene between kayakers and monkeys was pretty hilarious:

As soon as the kayak pulled up, the monkeys claimed it as their own and the tourists hopped out in a hurry. Notice how they are prepared to use their oars as weapons to reclaim their kayak.

Sunsets #1: Thailand

2008-11-21T04:47:00.000-08:00

Sunsets are hard to capture on film. We've seen a lot of really good ones while we've been here, and decided to do a pair of photo dumps. Some of the pictures in today's post look pretty, but don't fully do the sunsets justice. Come back tomorrow to see the really ridiculous ones from Koh Phi Phi.

Taken on a ferry to Koh Samui

Taken in Krabi

Also taken in Krabi

This one is from Pang Na

Here's one from Khao Sok. The color isn't amazing, but it was a nice place to drink a beer.

This last one is from Koh Samui. Apologies for the large amount of railing in the shot.