Our first forray into scatological humor

We here at Farang Industries think of ourselves as "high society" people, exemplars of taste and discernment. Tiara quaffs only Hennessy Beauté du Siècle, Ian won't turn the ignition of any lesser vehicle than his Rolls Phantom Silver, and Charlie... well, Charlie's learning.

(On the subject of learning, a quick aside to Farang's new Chief of Staff Preston Vanderbilt Esquire: The Remy XO is only to be served to the canines of visiting guests; the Jaguar is only to be used for picking up dogfood like Remy XO. One more mistake and you're out on the street like Dillinger Carnegie.)

You are probably wondering why I bring all this up; surely our credentials are unimpeachable, and the 'Farang' name is synonymous with refinement and class. Well, dear reader, it is with heavy heart that I confide that the roar from the financial meltdown has sent echoes even into the upper echelons of society. Ad contracts are expiring, sponsorship is down, and readership is dropping off as more of our loyal devotees turn their attention to finding new employment instead of reading our blog at their (now empty) mahogany desks. In these troubled times we at Farang are trying to grow our readership by courting the... how to say? peasantry. So here now, we extend a foul smelling olive branch, a small gastrointestinal gesture of good will: a "poop" joke, which our consultants have assured us is something that you people enjoy.

Editors advice: Skip the fudge

Happy Birthday, Ian!

Today is Ian's birthday. He is officially in his late-twenties. We will be spending the day in Venice, saying goodbye to our youth, but since our blog is living in the past, I'll commemorate this occasion by showing you two pictures from Kyoto. Here is Ian walking on his favorite stone steps while heeding the advice of this wonderful sign at the Heian Shrine:



Happy Birthday from the Farang Team! Charlie told me he hopes you get lots of chocolate and that you share it with him because he looooooooves it.

Who's the Boss?

US celebrities are often lured to Japan for product endorsements by lucrative contracts and the promise that their ads will never make it back to the US. My own governor has been involved in such affairs. We've been keeping our eyes out for more fun cameos, and though we don't have any Arnie sightings (so far), there is a cool canned-coffee ad campaign that has Tommy Lee Jones looking really tired.

More Intensity!

In case you're curious, hot coffee from a vending machine tastes just as bad as it sounds. Maybe that's why Tommy looks so sleepy. Anyhow, with the above ad campaign in mind, there was a certain bathing product we spotted in Vietnam that takes on a bit more meaning:

"Nothing cures my freaky mutant stench like X-Men"

Are the Vietnamese campaigning for a Tommy Lee Jones role in a superhero movie? Or maybe they just know something we don't.

Leaked movie still or bootleg fan mash-up? Only time will tell.

Hair Salon Engrish

I think I'd prefer the Good Hair Salon or even, dare I say it, the Excellent Hair Salon.  However, this place is definitely a cut above the Half Bad Hair Salon.

Mind Your Edibles Part 2: Sign Engrish

Here's the long awaited second half of the 'Mind Your Edibles' series, featuring signs from the food market at Chiang Rai. I did my best to make them readable, but I've also typed out some of the delectable food options.

These read like short, sometimes grammatically correct sentences.
Left: The Moustache is Tiny Squid Roasts, The Demon Moustache Squid Roasts, The Banana Squid/Egg Squid Roasts.
Right: The Shrimp Burns, The Meatball Fries Every The Wood, The Ark Shell Scalds/Burns

This stand also features the popular "The Demon Moustache Squid Roasts," but offers up more traditional fare, like "Hor Deuver." I particularly like the presentation of "Shrimp Burns," as it sounds more like a service than a dish.

Product Engrish: Candy

Today on Product Engrish, things from the candy aisle.

You'll find this candy more or less disturbing depending on your mastery of contemporary English slang.

Crunky, the preferred chocolate bar of Lil' Jon

Product Engrish: Dog Products

The pet section at the supermarket proved particularly ripe for Engrish:

I think this could catch on as new "street" slang. e.g. "Fresh up your lovely dog yo, 'fore I pop a cap in ya'"

When I hear "bursting with meatiness" the first thing that comes to my mind is Chuck Norris. Maybe that's just me.

For a Homely Time, Call 66-02-618-6777

From a guest house we're looking at:

L.K.N INN offers you with a warm and homely atmosphere with our fish pond and fountain at the entrance.

Proud Member: Bad Evil Culb

I bought some t-shirts. Observe:

It's a very exclusive culb

We could all use more pocket-whales.

For your consideration: Rhinocerous beetlE (RB) vs. Juicy Couture (JC). I think we all know which is taking the runway by storm this fall.