Phu Quoc

After a few days of trying to avoid being killed by motorbikes in Ho Chi Minh City, we were ready for a week on the beach. We were able to catch a cheap flight to Phu Quoc, thereby avoiding many hours on a bus and a boat (you know how we love Southeast Asian boats...). Phu Quoc is about five years away from becoming as developed and touristy as Phuket. We felt really fortunate to catch it before it explodes. Although the snorkeling isn't up to Thailand standards, the beaches are beautiful and the night market cooks up some cheap, delicious treats. Oooh, grilled pork and vermicelli noodles, how we miss thee.

Ian and I were fortunate to be able to snag an affordable room at the Beach Club for three nights. Just like the Bad Evil "Culb," it's very exclusive - usually booked months in advance. Someone must have cancelled at the last minute. Lucky us!

We took a snorkeling trip with Richard and Debbie, and stopped at the stunning Bai Sao beach. This place is a honeymoon destination for sure!

Phu Quoc fishing boat.

Enormous rice cracker.

Posts From the Way Back Machine #7: A Love Letter to Hong Kong

Editors Note: In his last post looking back at months-old events, Ian sums up some of his favorite experiences from Hong Kong, or "China-lite."

Well folks, the Way Back Machine is just about out of gas (or plutonium, or chili-cheese fries, or whatever it is these crazy things run on), and I'd like to end on a high note. We loved our time in Hong Kong, and today I'd like to share with you some of our favorite things that made it so very special to us.

Dumplings:
The first time we walked down the street at dinner-time we passed a restaurant doing so much business the crowd formed a line out the door that blocked the sidewalk. This not only made the place hard to miss, but also quite literally arrested my attention. We tried it out the next day, and it was love at first bite - we ate dumplings four times in the next 24 hours. Despite dozens of return visits, we never got a good picture. As soon as the delicate morsels appeared in front of us our frontal-lobes shut down and all non-dumpling-related thoughts ceased.

An OK shot of take-home dumplings. I think they were infused with opium.

Signs:

There were a lot of funny English and demonstrative graphics on signs in Hong Kong. It's usually hard to pick one favorite, but not when you've got this one:

The graphic hints at marvelous things, though we never saw people doing this

Ocean Park:
Hong Kong has its own home-grown amusement complex, "Ocean Park." It's old Sea World meets new Sea World - dolphin shows and parrots and pandas and roller coasters. As if that weren't enough, the whole thing is set on a hill overlooking the coast, and several of the rides (plus the cable car) practically go out over the water. And did I mention the pandas? Coolest theme park ever.

We've got enough pictures to do a whole Ocean Park blog (it was our first day with a new camera), but for now you'll have to be satisfied with a shot of "The Dragon":

Breathtaking view, heart-stopping drops, and neck-breaking jolts make the dragon an exhilarating if poorly engineered ride.

Old People:

Yes, they're everywhere, but they are especially in Hong Kong. When I wasn't getting elbowed out of my place in line or pushed off the sidewalk by them, I was marveling at their resilience. I'm pleased to close the Hong Kong posts with a picture of our favorite old lady riding a bicycle with training wheels on it:

Further support for my theory that old people are actually just really wrinkly six-year-olds.

Wastebaskets of Vietnam: Mr. Crocodile

Wastebaskets of Vietnam: Winner

Vietnam has a spectacular array of government-issued wastebaskets, each with the slogan: Happiness to Everybody. The communists sure do make cleaning up the earth fun. Each hotel we've stayed at has had a unique wastebasket. Today we begin our series of inspirational trash receptacles with a wastebasket from Mui Ne:

Mui Ne

The main reason people go to Mui Ne is to visit the nearby sand dunes. We took the obligatory Jeep day trip, and were pleasantly surprised to find that the other stops on the tour were even more beautiful than the dunes. Also, the beach wasn't half bad. The town had nothing to offer and we were glad we didn't spend any additional time there, but our short trip allowed us to see some really crazy scenery - some stuff you definitely wouldn't expect to find in Vietnam!

On an unrelated note, sorry for the minimal text on my recent blog entries. I'm applying to jobs for when we return to the Bay Area, and I'm making cover letters and resumes my primary writing project.

It's like a jungle on Mars!

Ian plays in the dunes. I think this should be his Facebook photo.

Kite surfers on the beach.

Two Reasons Vietnam is Better than Cambodia

1) Things You Can Find on the Street:

Nha Trang, Vietnam

Phnom Penh, Cambodia

2) Lunch:

Hoi An, Vietnam

Phnom Penh, Cambodia - where else?

Posts From the Way Back Machine #6: A Day at the Races

One of the two legal avenues for gambling in Hong Kong is horse racing. Being both law-abiding citizens and compulsive gamblers, Tiara and I carved out an evening from our busy schedule to go bet on some ponies at the Happy Valley Racecourse.

This slanty shot offers the view down track-side.

It's an understatement to say that horse racing is very popular in Hong Kong. Pictures help give an idea of the scale, though it's impossible to get it all in frame. Here's our best effort to give a sense of the scale:

How better to spend a Wednesday night than at the track with 30,000 of your closest friends?

I've been calling it "gambling," but betting on horses is ostensibly a game of skill, with success predicated on one's ability to judge the horses better than the folks setting the odds. Before each race all the horses are walked out to aid in such evaluations. Tiara and I watched closely and employed our patented 37 factor ranking algorithm. Some of the salient characteristics we evaluate include: "coat luster," "observed dental hygeine," and "general squirreliness."

Horses parading for the benefit of savvy gamblers.

After calculating the odds, we then threw out the careful methodology and placed bets on the horses with the best names. Four races later, we had each chosen a winner. I took my victory on a bit of a long shot when "Nasa Pearl" rocketed from the back of the pack and came first across the line. Tiara placed a somewhat safer bet on "Quality Quality," which delivered a true to name performance.

Tiara proudly displays her winning ticket

We were so successful at picking horses that at the end of the night we made back 37 HKD, on just 40 HKD worth of bets. Take that, Hong Kong Jockey's Club!

Posts From the Way Back Machine #5: The Devil's Brew

Editors note: Ian continues his belated Hong Kong posts with a description of his most traumatic Hong Kong culinary experience.

Hong Kong is known for its unique and exceptional cuisine. Its most famous drink is Milk Tea (港式奶茶, lit: "brown lactation of Qu-Jiang-Wang"), an ubiquitous beverage available at any restaurant on the island. Wikipedia describes this drink as "black tea sweetened with evaporated milk," a description I find so sufficiently lacking in cautionary horror as to be downright irresponsible.

Vignette: The Milk Tea Experience
As background, I have tasted a few strange and repulsive things on this trip, yet many of my best experiences have involved indulging in regional specialties. As such, it was with a cautious optimism that I ordered my first cup of milk tea. My hope quickly turned to trepidation when the server set a metal cup filled with steaming brown goo in front of me. Hesitantly, I lifted the cup to my mouth, and my trepidation gave way to abject terror. The milk tea lurched forward against my lips, releasing a barrage of potent volatile organic compounds that overloaded my olfactory bulb and left me momentarily stunned. Slimy tendrils snaked under my incisors, then braced against my molars and forced my jaw wide, permitting the rest of the sludge entrance to my once guarded mouth. Now inside, this noisome substance skittered about, coating my tongue, lips, and palate with a thick, greasy paste. Having thus marked the bounds of its new territory, the milk tea settled down in the back of my throat, where it invoked squatter's rights. After two months of continued horror and countless legal battles, I am still trying to get the taste out of my mouth.

DIY Hong Kong Milk Tea
Despite my having devoted 200 words to the subject, the milk tea experience is impossible to fully relate without resorting to neologisms or fancy poetry. For the sake of you, dear reader, I offer the following instructions detailing how I assume this beverage is produced, such that the courageous and foolhardy among you might experience it for yourself:
1) Visit into the bulk-tea section of your local whole foods or equivalent. Fill a bag with a mixture of the darkest, smelliest black tea leaves available.
2) Dump the tea leaves into an old gym sock, then stuff the sock into a teapot and fill with boiling water. Let the sock steep for three days.
3) Empty the teapot into a rusty, unseasoned cast iron pan. Reduce the liquid by two thirds.
4) Fill a cup one-half full with syrupy, tongue-coating condensed milk. Slowly add the tea-reduction, stirring as you do so. Add sugar to taste.
5) Enjoy(?)

If you followed the directions correctly, the resulting cup of "tea" should look like the one below:

Repugnaodiurancivomitudinal (adj): Of or relating to the gustatory experience of milk tea.

Ho Chi Minh City

While Ho Chi Minh City has noise and some trash and way too many motorbikes, it is worlds better than Phnom Penh and we were thrilled to arrive in Vietnam. Immediately after checking into our hotel we took care of our first and most important item of business: finding some pho. The food in Vietnam has been excellent, and our first bowl of pho did not disappoint. Savory broth, unlimited lime, fresh basil...mmm. Thank you to Mallory for first introducing us to pho back in San Jose. Pho Bang definitely stands up to Ho Chi Minh City standards!

We only spent two full days in Ho Chi Minh City, as we were eager to get to Phu Quoc Island for some beach time. The greatest thing we did in the city was attend a county-fair-meets-art-and-garden-show that we stumbled upon in the park. As with most fairs, people had submitted homegrown items for judging. This being Asia, the categories for submission included bonsais, koi, and sculptures made from fruit and plants. We had a great time checking out all the cool fish and meticulously manicured bonsais. As a souvenir, we got cutouts of our silhouettes from an artist with a real talent for recreating profiles with scissors and cardstock - only 10,000 dong (US $0.57) each!

Phobulous!

Crazy motorbike traffic and awesome Power Ranger balloons.

Aquarium in a fish tent at the fair - a sort of nesting doll effect.

A prize-winning bonsai.

This dragon reminds me of a tropical version of the Halloween pumpkins my dad used to make when I was a kid, with vegetables for the facial features and straw for the hair.

Try this dragon topiary fountain in your front yard for that understated look.

Sitting for my silhouette. If I look tired and hot it's because I was and it was!

A Special Message From the Farang Herpetology Department

Hope you're with that special someone!

Posts From the Way Back Machine #4: Rhymes with Chariman Mao

Editors Note: In this latest installment of our Hong Kong retrospective, Ian offers insightful commentary on some general Hong Kong strangeness.

A lot of what we saw in Hong Kong were little things too brief to warrant their own posts. I've collected five of our favorites and done a short write-up for each.

Item #1: Snowman Bao

He's smiling because he knows none of us like bao enough to actually eat him

Hong Kong has a lot of bakeries - there were four within a block of our apartment. Anyone who's ever been to China (or Chinatown) knows the Chinese are fans of sweet and/or savory stuffed buns known as 'bao.' A few of the bakeries in Hong Kong like to get a little creative and shape their bao into assorted figures and animals. Presumably this appeals to youth who, after being exposed to countless violent video-games and television programs, prefer a graphic demise for their bakery treats.

Item #2: Very large time-piece

"I said I have a really big clock"

I have two theories to explain this thing:
1) There is long-standing animosity between Japan and China, which can express itself in unexpected ways. Japan has a well known love/fetish for miniaturization and very small things. This monumental chronometer may be a subtle jab at the Japanese aesthetic.
2) Hong Kong strives to provide free or subsidized public services to its residents. Standardized time is a convention that generates tremendous social value, and has a strong network effect. However, most Hong Kong residents live in lofty high-rises, rendering a stationary, normal-size public clock illegible. This giant clock may be the first in a planned network of thousands, designed to insure that anyone can see the time by glancing out their 45th floor window.

Item #3: Safety Eggs

Humpty Dumpty: Never Forget

After an outbreak of Avian Flu instilled panic throughout Hong Kong, the government has taken a major focus on poultry-related food safety. While most of their public awareness campaigns have proved effective, their efforts to ensure that all eggs be equipped with safety harnesses and hard hats has largely been viewed as a failure.

Item #4: Santa Carnage

Santa's been hitting the nog pretty hard

China is not known for its celebration of western religion - the phrase "godless communists" comes to mind. That said, as Special Administrative Regions (SARs), Hong Kong and Macau have no beef with celebrating the largest commercial holiday of the year. We noticed that once the candy cane fueled holiday buying frenzy was over, Santa was literally thrown out on his ass.

Item #5: Greased-Up Educational Guy

A sino-Adonis prepares to show off his kickin' bod

Hong Kong has a wonderful science museum - admission is free on Wednesdays. Anyone familiar with the San Francisco exploratorium has a rough idea of the kind of hands-on science learning found there. Tiara and I are essentially six-year-olds, so we had a lot of fun. However, one exhibit was a little disconcerting. An interactive display allowed you to select a muscle group to learn about. Upon making your selection, a video screen plays a clip of a ripped, oiled, and almost naked man jumping around to demonstrate the muscles for you. In short, the exhibit provides young children with an introduction to musculoskeletal anatomy and homo-erotic video.

Obligatory Southeast Asian Boat Trip

All travelers in Southeast Asia need at least one "I survived hell on a boat in Cambodia" story. Now we have one too.

We definitely acted against our better judgment when we signed up for this boat trip. We'll blame it on the lack of sleep in Siem Reap and the temple-induced catatonia. The logic went something like this: why travel from Siemp Reap to Battambang on a comfy air-conditioned bus when you can travel by boat in double the time and cost? I was drawn in by Richard's romantic ideas of meandering down lazy Cambodian rivers in a rickety boat while passing fishing villages and listening to "All Along the Watchtower." The fishing villages were idyllic and I did tune into some Dylan on my iPod (we call it the tiPod), and if the boat trip had been two or three hours it would have been very romantic indeed. But, it wasn't three hours - it was nine.

We arrived at our boat just in time to claim some of the very last seats...er, wooden benches, on board. Thirty minutes later, three more vanloads of people had been escorted onto our "rustic" boat. The posted capacity was 24 and there were easily 60 people on board - many of whom were forced to either stand or bake on the roof. Though we nearly tipped over a couple times and had a moment where everyone on the roof had to come down below because the boat was unbalanced, I'd say the first three hours of our ride went very smoothly. We had a good time looking at the floating houses and waving to the naked children playing in the river. We spent the next six hours in a daze, staring at our feet and trying not to be pushed off our bench by a fat man. I only remember two significant events from the last 2/3 of the trip, both of which indicate the grand time I had:

1) While our boat was pulling away from our lunch spot I was hit in the back of the head (twice!) by a passing boat.
2) Ducking down to avoid a branch from hitting me, I was none too pleased when an enormous insect fell from the branch down my shirt.

Thus began our "Cambodia sucks" campaign which, sadly, was not helped by our visit to Phnom Penh (stay tuned!). I'll leave you with photos of some of the boat trip's better moments.

Hour one: pretty good so far!

Hour four: so bored that Tiara is reading Tolstoy and Ian has stopped playing his DS. There are no pictures of hours five through nine as they were all too unflattering to keep.

Umm...maybe we should tell someone how low we're riding in the water.

Actual pretty scenery that I can't say anything bad about:

Elephant Bath!

I don't think any of the McDowell clan would challenge my claim that visiting the Kuala Gandah elephant sanctuary was by far the best thing we did in Malaysia. I had been wanting to ride elephants since Thailand, but Ian and I found that most places offering rides to tourists were overpriced and treated their elephants poorly. Not wanting to support elephant abuse (by now you know what dedicated elephant activists we are), we decided we'd wait and visit a reputable sanctuary. Unexpectedly, we learned that such a place exists a couple hours' drive north of Kuala Lumpur. Richard, Debbie, Ian, and I rented a taxi for the day to take us to Kuala Gandah, stopping to see some lush jungles and small villages along the way.

The sanctuary cares for injured elephants as well as elephants that are being transported from farming villages (where they were eating the crops and angering the farmers) to Temara Negara National Park, where they will be able to roam freely. Admission to the sanctuary is free, though donations are much appreciated. Visitors have the opportunity to feed and ride the elephants, as well as bathe them in the river. For a good account of the sanctuary's work (as well as fun accounts of their Southeast Asia travels), visit Richard and Debbie's blog at http://vagabond49.blogspot.com.

It was fun to feed the elephants again, especially because this time we got to put fruit directly into their mouths. That is one big, wet tongue! Ian and I enjoyed our bareback elephant ride until the elephant started acting up and wouldn't follow the mahout's orders. Fortunately, the ride was brief and we made it to the ground safely. Without question, the highlight of our visit was playing with the elephants in the water. The four of us rode a large elephant into the water, and the mahout directed it to turn on its side and dump us all into the river. There, we got to bathe two baby elephants. Bathing baby elephants!!! This was so unbelievable and fun and unforgettable that I can really only describe it with cliches. After tearing ourselves away from the babies we were very eager to take up the staff's offer to use the sanctuary's showers. Baby elephants = cute + smelly.

Ian feeding this gentle lady some papaya.

Mmmm...sugar cane.

About to be dumped into the water.

Elephant bath!