Elephantploitation

If you haven't been following along with us since the first thrilling minute, you may have missed our insightful commentary on the elephant suffrage movement. Reception of the piece was universally positive, and thanks to your letters several members of the US house of representatives have contacted me asking what America can do. To further the case, I took the opportunity to interview Guntur "Bobo" Simanjuntak about the plight of the Thai elephants.

Ian: Hello Bobo, thank you for taking the time to talk with us today.
Bobo: It's a pleasure Ian. Also, I'd prefer it if you didn't use my slave name.
Ian: Your "slave name"?
Bobo: 'Bobo' is the name used by my captors and oppressors. Please, call me Guntar.
Ian: I'm so sorry Gunta-
Bobo: It means 'Thunder'
Ian: Right, got it. Thunder. Cool name. Anyhow-
Bobo: Don't you have like an assistant or someone who checks these things for you?
Ian: My regular guy is out sick, sometimes it's hard for the temps to get up to speed. Anyhow, can we just get on with this interview?
Bobo: Look, I'm just saying, that wasn't exactly a little slip. Calling me by my slave name, that's really not a good way to start an interview.
Ian: You heard me say I was sorry. Not everyone is familiar with the plight of the elephant. That's what I'm trying to solve here.
Bobo: Exactly. That's exactly it. No one gives a damn about us elephants, just kids and zookeepers. We suffer silently until it's a slow news day. Then some honkey reporter waltzes in calling us by our slave names and talking about how ignorant he is, in some kind of vain attempt to boost ratings by half a point.
Ian: Now listen, I'm just trying to conduct an interview here Bobo- I mean, Guntar- aw crap.
Bobo: <rears head angrily, grabs Ian's arm and starts pulling it towards mouth>
Ian: This interview is over.
Ian: Alright people, that's a wrap, let's get out of here. Can someone hit this elephant with a taser or something?